


Somebody To Love

by Kawaii_Kitty360



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkward Maybe-Dates?, Bill doesn’t understand love, Bill gets mad, Bill is an anxiety-riddled bean, Bill is very salty, BillFord is lowkey canon in this fic fite me, Family Bonding, Fordsy’s a worried child, Human Bill Cipher, If You Squint - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Mabel and Dipper bonding time, Sorry Not Sorry, Things are heating up, but we love him anyway, protect him, screw human boys; pigs are better, the first chapter is setting the story up, three boys choke on glitter while the only girl in the room drinks her plate of syrup, yay!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaii_Kitty360/pseuds/Kawaii_Kitty360
Summary: Soulmates are hard to come by, especially for somebody like Bill Cipher. However, the dream demon still has a chance when he is summoned by the Higher Powers with news of a soulmate.





	1. Summoned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howdy am I excited for this one. I have no idea where I’m going with this, but that’s how I start most of my stories, isn't it?
> 
> {Also I should tell you that Dipper's and Mabel's design is based loosely off of Life-Writer (minus the tattoos) and Ikimaru (the glasses), both from Tumblr}  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I'm probably not going to update this a whole lot; this is just something that I wanted to get out there, y'know? Still, hope you enjoy! <3~~

Everybody in the world has a soulmate: a best friend, a stranger, a pen pal; the options on who they are are unlimited.

Nobody really expects a ‘what’.

You see, soulmates are decided at birth. The very moment you are conceived, your soul connects to your chosen one, according to the Higher Power: three omnipotent, omniscient beings who see all, hear all, and are all. They created everything, from the planet you live on, to the tiniest molecule in the cosmos. Nothing is a surprise for them, as they are the past, the present, and the future for every dimension. They search for your second half, and click you two together. There is no way to change soulmates; through every reincarnation, yours souls are connected. Some lifetimes, your soulmate might be your best friend, while in others, your soulmate didn’t make it past childbirth. No matter what, you and your soulmate are together, forever; stuck, trapped, chained to the same soul, but a different face, a different body; a different personality. It’s a stupid way to live, but it’s how the Higher Power has made it.

And then there are the rare cases who do not meet their ‘soulmates’. These, who are doomed to never meet their other halves, are called Halfies, and are usually ridiculed and shunned among cultures who worship the Higher Power. Very few do, but that doesn’t matter.

Now, you may be wondering about immortal beings; beings that do not live, nor die, such as the Higher Power. Do they have soulmates?

Let me tell you straight away: the Higher Power did not assign themselves as part of such an idiotic life, but demons, ghosts, and vampires and lycanthropes do indeed have soulmates. They are most often lucky enough to have been assigned people who are destined to become part of their species, but those who have provoked the Higher Power in a past life are doomed to have shared souls with a human, and are cursed to watch their love die over and over and over while they live on. That’s harsh, even for them.

What’s even harsher is when you go your whole life without believing you have a soulmate because there is no room in your soul for love. And that, my friends, is where our tale begins.

The universe, as everybody knows, is an infinitely-running plain of existence with no end and no beginning; it just goes on forever. This is where the Higher Power resides--well, kind of. They actually reside in a small pocket; a dimensional tear in the universe more commonly called a ‘black hole’. The tear is black from the outside, but the inside is opposite. The inside is as beautiful than the space around it, with stars and galaxies that stretch on for miles. The moment you enter the tear, you will see them: the Higher Power, sitting on their thrones, watching the universes and dimensions they rule over. However, their attention is on something more important at the moment.

“ ** _Call him in_**.”

The shape in the first throne looked to the middle one, moving its hand from its face, bending it in front of its chest. ““ ** _What? Why?_** ”

“ ** _Because we need to tell him. Duh._** ” The third one clacked its claws together in disinterest.

“ ** _He’s been lost for too long. We need to guide him._** ”

“ ** _But who cared about him?_** ” The first one threw its arms up in exasperation. “ ** _Have you seen him?_** ”

“ ** _I said bring him in, and I expect to do just that._** ”

The first sighed, defeated, and leaned back, regaining its position of leaning to its left, hand in front of its face. “ ** _Whatever you say._** ”

~

“Hey, it’s Bill! Hi Bill!”

Bill Cipher, the one-and-only Dream Demon of his dimension, looked to the voice to see Keyhole, one of the friends in the Nightmare Realm, where Bill resided most of the time.

“Keyhole, my main! What’s up?” Bill casually sat midair, placing his foot atop his opposite knee as Keyhole skid to a halt in front of him, panting slightly. 

“8-Ball is throwing another massive party tonight,” Keyhole informed hurriedly, smiling wide. “It’s supposed to be better than the last one! He’s really taking notes on what’s good and not good so he can throw the best parties!”

Bill looked away in thought, crossing one arm and pressing the other under his eye as he began to contemplate why the hell he would go to 8-Ball’s when he could just throw his own?

“I-I mean, your parties are always better than his!” Keyhole assured, almost reading Bill’s mind. Bill fought back a smirk, but he still held up his hands and looked away.

“Oh, don’t say that! 8-Ball’s parties are spectacular!” Bill hoped he sounded legitimate, and relaxed as Keyhole smiled.

“I-I’m sure he’d be happy to hear that.”

“I’m sure.” Bill waved his hand as he fixed his position, getting ready to continue his daily scout around the Nightmare Realm. “Tell him I’ll see if I can make it.”

“Y-Yes!” Keyhole nodded before zipping off back to 8-Ball’s home. Bill snickered under his breath as he turned back around and continued to float his way around. The Nightmare Realm was beginning to pick itself up after Weirdmageddon now that they've seen something more than just empty space and rocks. People were beginning to build homes reminiscent to Gravity Falls, making neighborhoods and stores that they just burnt down after making, as they had no reason for them. Some built things and destroyed them for something fun to do, missing the destruction they caused for the small amount of time. Some people were happy to have decent homes, though, and even sat 'outside' with their friends and had a cup of tears or bread and blood. They would usually wave at Bill when they saw him pass, but some just whispered, as if Bill couldn't hear them.

"Did you hear?" One demon would speak hurriedly to their companion, leaning close to show that only they were supposed to hear. "The ruler over the Nightmare Realm, Bill Cipher, is a Halfie."

"A Halfie?" the other person would gasp, reeling back and passing a glance to the triangle passing by. He kept his gaze in front of him, trying not to change his expression, as if he didn't hear. "You're not serious."

"I am," the first would nod enthusiastically. "Most demons would have their Soulmates as demons, too, but Bill... Bill's never been assigned one."

"How do you know?"

"You never see him with anybody but his usual gang," the first would continue, waving their hands, "but all of his gang has their own soulmates! It's insane!"

"Maybe Bill just doesn't have a soul to begin with..."

"If that mattered, no demon would have a soulmate."

"Oh, yeah, you're right..."

Bill would fall out of earshot, and only then would he let his stature fall. He would allow himself to think about how right they were, about how different he was, and how he hated it. He hated the fact that everybody knew he was a Halfie. He hated the way people could almost see his soul, and see he didn't have a match. He would continue his rounds, as usual, before settling in to his own home (a replica of the Mystery Shack called 'The Cipher Shack') and find other dimensions to visit. Sometimes he'd look upon a dimension void of him, with only a TV show to spread the word of him. He would look upon that one often, but would never dare step into it. He kinda liked being famous.

Bill sighed as he shoved his thoughts back, continuing his daily rounds. Like usual, he waved to the people on their front porch, said 'Good morning!' to another group of demons on their way to the store (mainly for fun, as demons really didn't need anything, being as they were incorporeal), and rounding one of the new corners to continue on his way he saw _her_.

A slim, black, humanoid figure with raven wings and deep gray skin, black hair that flowed around her body, a bag around her shoulder and across her chest (yes, totally emphasizing her tits) as she hovered in place, one leg bent to hold herself steady in place as she examined the area with white eyes. Bill allowed himself to stop to gawk at her, his single eye scanning her up and down. Why did she look so… familiar…? 

Bill jolted, his top hat bouncing off his head as her face turned towards him, eyes piercing him before her wings fluttered…

...and she started to approach.

Bill tried not to be on edge as he pushed himself forward, eyes scanning the ground in hopes to slide past her without anything too awkward when a shadow fell in front of him. He stopped, moving backwards and looking up. 

“ _Bill Cipher?_ ” Her voice was as smooth as her hair, eyes narrow and unblinking, thick with mascara he knew she didn’t apply. That was the awesome thing about demons; they were naturally beautiful.

“Pleasure to meet you,” he said, tipping his top hat. She didn’t seem amused as she looked at her bag, opening it and pulling out a letter, handing it to him. Oh, that was why. She was the dimensional messenger. “What’s this?”

“ _A letter,_ ” she told him as if he were stupid.

“Thanks.” Bill peeled apart the seal, unfolding the white paper and reading it to realize it was just an invitation to 8-Ball’s party. He was almost disappointed as he scanned the letter in disinterest.

“ _You have also been summoned to the realm of the Higher Power. I can escort you, if you wish._ ” 

Bill sputtered at the new information, the letter in his hand exploding in blue flames. “Wait, what?”

“ _You have been summoned to the realm of the Higher Power,_ ” she repeated slower, blinking at him. Bill could practically hear her ask herself if he were either incompetent or half-deaf.

“B-But, for why?” he stuttered, drawing his legs to his chest and floating back a little. The Messenger held her hand out.

“ _They do not tell me why, they just tell me to do. Now, if you would please take my hand, we must get going. The Higher Power are awfully impatient._ ”

Bill looked at her small hand, outstretched towards him, palm up. She was looking at him with patience in her glowing eyes, though her countenance was blank. Ah, demons. Unemotional, unfeeling, uncaring, undying beings. Bill sighed and put his hand on hers, small and thin compared to hers. She really was like a human. Her raven wings fluffed out before enclosing around the both of them, clouding them in darkness.

A few seconds later, she opened the wings to reveal a beautiful purple landscape, stars dotting the area, casting warm light onto them. Galaxies blended into the distance, swirling milky ways as pale streaks in the dark plain.

“ _Here he is,_ ” the Messenger spoke beside him, her wings fluttering slightly. Bill tore his gaze away from the sight to look up at three shadows he’d only seen in myths and books. 

“ ** _Thank you, Serenity,_** ” the middle one spoke softly, waving its hand in dismissal. The Messenger, Serenity, bowed her head before wrapping herself in her wings, flipping out of existence. Bill looked at the lone feather that remained, poking it slightly before a booming voice above him caused him to pull his arms behind him shyly, once again pulling his knees up in front of him.

“ ** _Bill Cipher, the Dream-Demon. Welcome to our realm,_** ” the first one opened its arms in sarcastic greeting before putting its arms on it's throne's armrests. " ** _Hope you enjoy your stay._** " 

It was clearly unhappy with Bill's presence.

"U-uh... Yeah, so... what do you need me for?" Bill bent his knees so his feet were behind him, like he usually did when he was just floating midair.

" ** _We have summoned you here to tell you something very important,_** " the middle one announced, and the third one hit its heels on its throne. 

" ** _Something really important indeed!_** "

Bill scratched upon his eye as he looked away. "Oh, okay... so... what is it?"

" ** _You have lived a long time without a soulmate, yes?_** "

The yellow triangle allowed himself to shrink into himself a little, keeping his gaze away. "Yeah."

" ** _Well, for no longer!_** " the third one threw its arms in the air. " ** _My friend, we have found you a soulmate!_** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you guys see any mistakes, okay? Thank you~~! <3
> 
> Also if you guys know of any other story that sounds remotely close to this one, please, let me know! I haven't read that many Soulmate AU BillDip fics that go in this way, but please, let me know.


	2. The News ft. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill learns that his soulmate hates his nonexistent guts while said soulmate nearly kills himself with glitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see ‘~’ outside of dialogue, it means Scene switch, but if you see ‘~~~~~~~~~~~’, it means POV switch. There’s probably going to be a lot of that, so keep it in mind. I’ll try and remind you whenever it’s in a chapter.
> 
> Also, I think Mondays will be the update times. Sound good?

“Wait, a soulmate?!”

The middle one, the eldest of the three, nearly huffed at the voice below them. The shape reflected harshly against the calming purple/blue/green backdrop the three were used to, but that’s how it usually was. His top hat, arms, and legs nearly blended in with the space he was inhabiting in that moment.

“You guys are telling me, you _actually_ found my soulmate?” Bill held his arms to his top hat in awe at the three who nearly blended in to the dark background. His voice was high in hope that was almost tangible.

“ ** _Miraculously._** ” The middle one lifted its clawed hand, a glowing orb growing as its fingers uncurled. Wisps of cream-colored smoke pulsated away from the plasma, and it offered it down to the figure below. It floated down to him, stopping mere inches from him. Bill curled into himself, eyeballing the orb. It continued to release the white gas into the air before dissipating once leaving the cloud-like sphere. 

“ ** _Touch it_** ,” the last one said, leaning forward slightly. “ ** _Touch it and reveal_**.”

“I…” Bill lifted his arm towards it, extending one of his small fingers towards it. He was nervous. _Extremely_ nervous. He’d spent his whole existence (which was a while) trying to find out his soulmate without the Higher Power’s wisdom as to why he couldn’t find his soulmate. He began to think demons didn’t get them, but when he found they did, that just made him more depressed. Luckily he had many people to torment in his dimension; and others. It could be anybody. He almost didn’t want to find out. What if it was a prank? What if it exploded and the Higher Power laughed at his face and said that nobody would love him, even if he had a soulmate? What if--

“ ** _Do it already. I’m getting bored_**.” The comment was from the first in line, the youngest, who was examining its nails. 

Bill allowed his finger to linger over the bubble for a millisecond longer before pressing into it, the digit sinking into it before it exploded in a cloud of gas. Bill let out a yelp as he covered his face from the bright light that erupted from the orb.

After a few moments, the gas passed, and Bill opened his eyes with a soft groan, studying the area before his gaze landed on another glowing orb with an unmistakable blue shape in the center.

“ _What?!_ ” Bill screeched as he slapped under his only eye, feeling his entire being run cold. “You have got to be kidding!”

“ ** _We don’t kid_** ,” the middle on spoke, and Bill reeled back slightly, as if the orb was hot. 

“You can’t be… Are you trying to tell me that…”

…

“ _PINETREE IS MY SOULMATE???!_ ”

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a cloudless day in Gravity Falls, Oregon, with birds singing and deer grazing by the side of the winding road. A squirrel clambered up a tree, nibbling on an acorn as a car drove past, its approach making the deer bounce back into the forest and out of harm's way. 

“I hope Grunkle Stan’s awake by now!” the woman, no older than 18, in the passenger’s seat said as she fixed her braid, looking at the mirror in the Sun Visor. The back seat was full of groceries, bags slumped over on each other or against the doors so they didn’t spill. Two charms, a pinetree and a shooting star, clacked against the windshield as the car sped down the street, blurs of green passing by the windows. “If he’s still asleep, I’m going to throw a fit. He made us get up at 6 A.M. just to go shopping.”

“Yeah, honestly,” the driver, a man around her age agreed as they pulled into a driveway, slowing down to a stop. “Maybe Grunkle Ford’s awake.”

“Most likely,” she nodded as they opened their doors at the same time, stepping out. They shared a glance as they shut their doors, in unison, and opened the back doors to gather the groceries.

The boy, carrying the most, leaned against one of the wooden pillars as he fished his keys out of his pocket, struggling to fit it into the keyhole and open the door without dropping anything. 

“Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford!” he called in, looking around slightly. No noise came from inside, and he sighed, stepping in. “We’re home with grocerie--”

A figure raced past him with a muttered ‘Thank you!’, startling the teen holding the door. He released his breath once he realized who it was. 

“Oh, yeah,” the girl said, stepping past him. “I forgot Grunkle Ford did that.”

“Me too,” he murmured as he walked in to the kitchen, placing his bags on the table and adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses. She put hers next to his, and the process repeated until everything was in.

“Alright, that’s everything!” 

The three stood in the doorway, looking at the bags, ready to be put away. The teenagers sighed in content as the man popped his back. “Not as old as I look, huh?”

Right as they were about to answer, a voice came from the stairway: “Yeah, yeah, showoff.” Their attention was directed towards the sound as he continued, adjusting his maroon stringtie. “Thanks, kiddos.”

The teenage boy smiled, standing next to the man in the red turtleneck as the girl skipped up to the other man. “No problem, Grunkle Stan.”

“Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan!” she sung as she stopped in front of him, beaming up at him excitedly. “Can I make breakfast?!”

“Sure thing, sweetie,” Stan nodded, and the girl cheered.

“Mabel, are you sur--” the teenager began, but got cut off by her grabbing him.

“Dipper, come help!” she tugged him into the kitchen, laughing, as both the men stood and watched, amused.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“This has to be a joke!”

The first one rolled its eyes. “ ** _There is absolutely no reason to shout, Cipher._** ”

Bill put his hands under his top hat as he looked down, eye wide. “N-no, there has to be some mistake…!” 

“ ** _Why would there be?_** ”

“B-Because--!” Bill curled into himself. He didn’t notice he did it so much until then. “H-He hates me…”

“ ** _Cipher, relax,_** ” the third one almost cooed, but the voice caused him to pull his knees up. “ ** _There is nothing Pinetree can do to hurt you!_** ”

“H-He could…” Bill looked away, holding his hands under his eye. “He could break my heart.”

“ ** _What heart?_** ” the first one muttered, and the middle one held up its hand.

“ ** _Cipher, your useless worrying is annoying. Pinetree is linked to you as you to him._** ” 

In the orb, Pinetree was laughing alongside his great uncles.

“No, he seriously hates me!” Bill tried, but the middle one held its hand up again.

“ ** _Then fix it._** ”

“I can’t! If he sees me, he’s gonna…! He’s gonna…”

The first one looked as if it was actually intrigued in what Bill was going to say, but the Dream Demon had nothing.

“ ** _That’s what I thought..._** ” the first one relaxed, summoning up a Cubik’s Cube to entertain itself.

“ ** _Go into Pinetree’s dreams, Cipher,_** ” the middle suggested. “ ** _Get on his good side, however you can._** If ** _you want a soulmate that badly._** ”

“I… yes sir.” Bill closed his eye in acceptance before feeling the world around him disappear and the atmosphere change. When he opened his eye, he was back in the Nightmare Realm, ready to continue his rounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ta-Da! Sparklecakes!”

The three men stared at their plates without any specific expression. Stan, now donning a fez, shrugged as he picked up a fork and a knife, cutting into the soft food. Dipper looked at the man next to him, sharing a look.

“Grunkle Ford, Dipper, don’t let it get cold!” Mabel pouted as she took her spot next to Stan, setting her plate of clumpy syrup on the table. “I put a lot of work into it!”

Beside her, Stan began coughing up glitter. 

Dipper and Ford nodded and muttered things like ‘Yeah, okay’ and ‘Looks good, thank you’. Mabel smiled as she, too, began to eat, though probably better than the other three, because the glitter was muted by how much syrup she put on it. Dipper, Stan, and Ford, however, were subject to clots of glitter getting caught in their throats, and went through six glasses of orange juice, each. Later in the day, Dipper was still coughing up sparkles. 

It was a month into summer vacation, a month after the Pines twins graduated, and a month since they returned to Gravity Falls. Every summer they went back to hang out with Soos, Melody, and their friends while they waited for their grunkles to return from their voyage. They got postcards, photos, and letters all the time, but it’d been a long time since they saw their beloved great uncles. Soos usually sent them letters when he had something fun planned for the twins, so it was no surprise when they got one saying that the next time they visited, for their 19th birthdays, was going to be even more fun, they didn’t put much thought into it. That is, until they came back and saw that Soos wasn’t home, and rather two familiar old men were sitting at the kitchen table, eating dinner. For the first weeks, they were rarely at the Mystery Shack; spending time together whether it was through exploring the forest or a round of minigolf, only returning home to get some rest. Eventually they got worn out and all decided to stay home for, like, a week. Dipper hung out with Ford in the basement, learning about all the things Stan and Ford saw on their adventures while Mabel sat in the living room, watching TV shows and movies together. Waddles was back home, as he was bigger than the car and they had no other way to transport him. It was a sad departure, especially because he usually went with them every year prior, but Mabel pretty much facetimed him every night. 

“Screw human boys; pigs are better!” she would always say when Dipper asked, but he eventually got used to it. In fact, she said it that night, too.

Dipper laughed as he rolled over, facing the wall that used to have all his notes on the mysteries of Gravity Falls. He could still see the tack holes. “Whatever you say, Mabz.”

“I mean,” Mabel held up her hand as she swung her legs back and forth, looking over at him. “Some guys are great, but they just don’t get me like Waddles does!”

A squeal from her tablet drew her attention away as she plugged in her headphones and began to coo at the screen. Dipper smiled, looking behind him and grabbing his phone; a reminder on how many friends he didn’t have. He sighed and looked back at the wall, closing his eyes for another night in Gravity Falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you tell I wrote half of this chapter before I wrote chapter 1 ;;


	3. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper begins to have dreams about a certain somebody and finds somebody in the woods who might be able to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember: One ‘~’ means scene change, same POV; ‘~~~~~~~~~~~’ means POV change, generally a different scene.

As usual, Dipper’s dream include Gravity Falls, usually the woods. He’s usually standing in a field, surrounded by large trees that seem to stretch forever into a sky full of cumulus clouds, gliding across the sky as a soft breeze tore past Dipper, causing the strings of his hoodie that he always wears to flutter slightly, his free hair following suit. This time is no different.

Dipper lifted his head to the sky, taking a deep breath in and savoring the smell of pine around him. The fresh air, the soft wind, the open field… it all felt like a second home; the home that he knew he belonged in. He opened his arms, allowing himself to fall back onto the soft grass behind him. A sense he rarely ever got in his dreams overrode his senses, causing his eyes to snap open.

He wasn’t alone, but he wasn’t expecting to see _him_.

The moment he fell, the teenager scrambled to sit back up with a gasp, but saw nothing. After giving the area a once-over, he relaxed, falling back with his eyes closed again in attempt to calm his racing heartbeat. It used to be that way, in the beginning. After Weirdmageddon. “He” would always appear in Dipper’s dreams, tainting them, making him not want to sleep. He’d talk to Mabel, and she’d help him out, but “he” was always there, somehow, in his dreams. Dipper feared he would never be rid of “him”, until, one day, “he” just… stopped. Dipper almost didn’t realize it until Mabel commented that he actually got a good night’s sleep, unlike usual. Dipper felt like a free man.

He should’ve known it couldn’t last long.

“Enjoying the breeze?”

Dipper opened his eyes, pulling himself onto his elbows and scrambling back with a yelp. 

“Awh, don’t do that! You’re going to get grass stains on the back of your jeans!” The shape tutted, putting one ankle on his other knee, closing his eye. “That’d be a shame, wouldn’t it?”

“Wh-why are you here?!” Dipper shouted up at him, a gust of wind tearing past him before settling again. 

“Awh, what, didn’t you miss me?” The eye that always haunted him looked down at him before flying at him, causing Dipper to nearly do a backflip in hopes of getting away. He didn’t have time, though, as the demon was upon him within a second. “You haven’t changed much, Pinetree, except maybe becoming a bit taller, getting glasses, and--” Bill gasped, loud and dramatic, pulling back and holding his hands under his eye. “Are those _studs?_ Why, Pinetree! I never pegged you as the earring type!”

Dipper touched his earlobe in embarrassment, looking away before climbing to his feet so he didn’t feel so pitiful. “I thought you left me alone!”

“You think I’d just leave without saying goodbye?” The triangle continued his shocked expression. “I’ll have you know, I am a _gentleman_ , Pinetree.”

“Gentlemen don’t come in uninvited!”

Bill paused, eye widening in an impressed manor, and he looked away slightly, turning his whole body a few degrees. “Wow, that was good.”

“Are you going to leave yet?” 

“Now who’s the rude one?” he taunted, and Dipper stomped his foot in annoyance.

“You! You still came into my dreams un-in-vi-ted!” He emphasized the syllables, fear fading into anger. “Do I need to spell it for you?!”

“I-T. Listen, Pinetree,” Bill continued before Dipper could scream in irritation, “I come with no harm intended! I just want a friendly chat, a heart-to-heart.”

“You don’t _have_ a heart,” Dipper spat.

“Touche, my little Pine.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“And why shouldn’t I?” Bill asked as he grew to the size of a building, Dipper having to take a few steps back to meet his gaze. Dipper could fit his arm in Bill’s bricklines if he wanted. “You look like a Little Pine from here.”

Even from up there, he could see Dipper getting pissed, so he shrunk down to his normal size. “Get out of my head.”

The words physically shoved Bill backwards a little in surprise. He quickly recovered and swooped back to Dipper, leaning on one of his shoulders. “Don’t lie to me, Pinetree; you know you missed me.”

Dipper rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Yeah, right. Like anybody would miss you.”

Bill frowned, but shrugged and turned away from him. “You can hide your true feelings for now, kid, but I know how you really feel.”

“Shut up, Bill.”

And much like Sixer used to do in the past, Pinetree forced himself awake, ending their small talk sooner than Bill hoped. 

“Sheesh, that can _not_ be healthy,” he muttered to himself as he floated out of his home, scanning the area for anything that might need his immediate attention. To his surprise, a familiar woman hovered across the “street”, arms folded behind her back.

_Why couldn’t it be him…?_

“Pleasure seeing you again,” Bill greeted as she began to approach, him following suit to meet her halfway. ...Aaand no response. Wonderful. _That_ sure made Bill feel better about himself.

“ _The higher power will see you again,_ ” she told him, holding out her hand again. Bill pulled back, hands up in a surrendering pose. 8-Ball’s party was in an hour. Time passed differently in the Nightmare Realm than it did in Pinetree’s dimension (oh god, a dimension full of Pinetrees?), so three hours there could only be an hour in the N.R. He didn’t know about the Higher Power’s realm, though; a second could be an hour, or maybe time passed however you wanted.

“Wait, hold on. Why? I haven’t--” He stopped himself at her look and began chuckling. “Right, right… you don’t know.” He sighed. “Alright. Thank you.” 

She blinked slowly as he put his hand on hers before wrapping them both up in a feathery cocoon, unraveling at the foot of the Higher Powers’ thrones. 

“ _Here he is_.”

“ ** _Yes, thank you,_** ” the first one dismissed, and she was gone.

“Alright, what’s the big deal?” Bill crossed his arms, squinting up at them. “I get that you guys are free to do whatever, but c’mon. I just technically woke up, and I have a party to go to.”

“ ** _You’ve always been headstrong and annoying,_** ” the first continued, it’s booming voice causing Bill to, once again, wince and draw into himself. He probably seemed really pitiful to the deities in front of him. 

“ ** _Don’t be so harsh on him!_** ” the third cut in, leaning forward to look at the first in line. “ ** _Look, I think we scare him!_** ”

“ ** _Cipher, you visited Pinetree, correct?_** ” the middle one cut between them, causing them both to let out noises in annoyance and content respectfully. 

“Well, yeah, last night, but--”

“ ** _And you were unsuccessful, correct?_** ”

Bill looked away. 

“ ** _Are we--_** ” The third one tried, but once interrupted.

“ ** _We are going to give you a few more nights to see how far you can get with him. If he is stubborn and resists, we’ll resort to plan B._** ”

“Plan B?” Bill echoed, but the first one twirled their fingers dramatically in the air a few times.

“ ** _Yes, yes. Now get out._** ”

When Bill blinked, he was back in front of his house, once again ready to make more rounds. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper didn’t get that much sleep that night. After the sudden appearance of Bill, Dipper immediately got out of bed and went downstairs to get something to drink. He contemplated a shower, but, with Bill fresh on his mind, didn’t trust it to be as private as he’d like. It was only 3 A.M, but Dipper didn’t want to try to go back to sleep in fear that Bill would come back and try and talk again.

Why would Bill even want to ‘talk’ anyway? All he did was destroy this and wreck that; there was no such thing as ‘conversation’ to him. And yet, why did Bill actually seem like he wanted to have a cup of tea or something?

Dipper trashed that thought as soon as it blossomed. Bill wasn’t capable of having ‘conversation’; all he knew was destruction, and Dipper didn’t need Bill destroying his mind. 

Mabel snored as Dipper slipped on his shoes, hoodie already on his shoulders and jeans on his legs. He crept out as quietly as he could, grabbing a flashlight and sticking it in his back pocket as he walked out into the night. The moon shone brightly on the forest floor, giving him enough light to see without the artificial light as he continued down the steps, looking around slightly. There were so many places he could go in the forest, or he could walk into town to buy something, but instead settled with walking towards a trail he didn’t remember seeing at all during any of his visits. Maybe he did, but he still wanted to check it out. 

Stepping over a branch, Dipper checked to make sure his flashlight was still there as he followed the path deeper into the forest, eyes scanning for any Killbillies, Undead, or Beard Cubs that might attack him. He watched his footing, making sure not to set off any twigs or step on crunchy leaves that might disturb the blissful peace of the woods. The path continued deep into the trees, and he was tempted to pull out his flashlight when another light from up ahead caused him to stop. Crouching lower, Dipper slunk forward slowly, sliding behind a tree once the light was right in front of him. He peeked around it and gasped.

A familiar figure sat on their knees in front of a stone statue of a triangle, head bowed and lantern casting shadows in multiple directions. His gray floof and brown coat is what gave his identity away to Dipper, but he didn’t look away from the scene, determined to find what was happening. 

Ford looked up slightly, reaching into his trench coat pocket, pulling out his fist a few moments later and muttering things to himself.

“...have to do this all the time. Why can’t you just stay away?”

Dipper raised an eyebrow in confusion, allowing himself to hide back behind the tree. What was Ford talking about? Until this summer, he hadn’t been home in a long time, so how could he do… whatever he was doing? Dipper looked back around the tree, trying desperately to catch a glimpse of whatever was in Ford’s hands. Ford was standing now, putting something all over the rock formation of Bill that formed back when…

Never mind all that.

When Ford moved to admire his handiwork, what’s when Dipper realized what it was. Ford was decorating Bill’s arm, top hat, eye, and around his base with strands of unicorn hair. 

“Leftovers, from what we didn’t use.”

Dipper’s heart jolted, and he zipped behind the tree, pushing himself against it as hard as he could without hurting himself or giving away his position.

“It’s alright, Dipper. You can come out.”

Sighing, the teenage boy ashamedly pulled himself away from the forest and towards his great uncle. “How did you know I was there?”

“30 years in different dimensions fighting for my life,” Ford reminded him, folding his arms behind his back. “You learn to pick up even the smallest of sounds.”

“Right, right…” Dipper looked away slightly before looking at the statue of Bill. Could Ford possibly know about…? “What were you doing?”

“Oh,” Ford glanced over his shoulder, studying the sculpture. “Better safe than sorry, right? I was using what unicorn hair, moonstone, and mercury isn’t surrounding the shack to ensure that Bill doesn’t try to possess this stone body of his. Highly likely and seriously impossible, but I saw it and decided to just make sure.” He met Dipper’s gaze again, smiling. “So, why are you out here?”

He didn’t seem anxious at all about the possibility of Bill still being in Gravity Falls, but Dipper was even more on edge. 

“I, uh… I dunno. I was gonna go for a walk, and saw this trail so I figured ‘why not’, y’know?” Dipper shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets, eyeing the stone. Ford noticed this and chuckled, putting a hand on Dipper’s shoulder and guiding him back to the trail.

“Don’t worry, Dipper. There is no possible way of Bill coming back here. He’s gone-- for good.” Despite his words, Dipper noticed how stiff Ford felt.

He bit his lip. “Great Uncle Ford, I… I had a… dream…”

Ford paused, steps hitching and arm becoming more firm on his back, nearly causing Dipper to stumble. “What about…?”

Dipper’s heart skipped at Ford’s grave tone. “Y-Y’know…” A look over his shoulder was all it took for Ford to grab Dipper by the arm and run back to the shack. Dipper nearly tripped over a rock, but Ford tugged him along, and they slammed their way into the shack, most likely waking both Mabel and Stan. Ford shut the door, locked it, and immediately shoved Dipper towards the vending machine guarding the basement. “G-Grunkle Ford, what’re you--”

Ford didn’t answer as he threw Dipper into the elevator, slamming the ‘2’ button and folding his arms behind his back. Dipper adjusted his hoodie and rubbed his arm a bit before stepping out after Ford. In his opposite pocket, Dipper’s phone buzzed.

“Dipper, you have to tell me exactly how your night has gone so far,” Ford ordered as Dipper sat down in a spare computer chair, looking at the floor. After a second of thinking, Dipper launched into explaination about the forest clearing and how he always dreamt of that, and how everything was normal when all of a sudden, Bill appeared and started saying things like ‘We need to talk’. The whole time Dipper was talking, Ford was silent, eyes trained on Dipper’s shoes.

“...and then I saw you,” Dipper finished. “And, well, here we are.”

Ford nodded, leaning back against the couch slightly. He looked… perturbed, more or less. 

“I think it’d be best if you slept in here so I can monitor you.”

Dipper already knew what Ford meant the moment he produced Project Mentem.

~

Again, the fields. This time, Dipper was afraid to be himself, as he knew Ford was watching. He looked around a little and waved to nobody in particular before crouching down and sitting, cross legged, in the middle of the field, closing his eyes. The smell of pine, the breeze; everything was exactly the same. The feeling was back.

Dipper opened his eyes.

In front of him, Bill sat, cross legged as well, eyes reflecting that of a large smile. “You missed me that much?”

“No way,” Dipper crossed his arms. “Sleeping is kind of a human function, required to survive. I’d say you’re the one who missed me.”

“Humans can last a long time without sleep,” Bill argued, but Dipper shook his head.

“Not for too long. They’ll eventually pass out. There are probably outside ways to stay awake, but it isn’t recommended. _I’M THE HUMAN HERE, BILL; YOU CANNOT ARGUE WITH ME._ ”

Bill laughed as Dipper cut him off before he could even say anything. “I’ve been studying humans for years, kid, and some have shown some serious resilience to sleep. IQ is one of them.”

“You mean Grunkle Ford?” Dipper’s shoulders relaxed slightly at the reminder that somebody was watching over him. 

“Yeah, him,” Bill waved his hand dismissively. If he knew Ford was watching, he made no signs to show it. “He went through a lot of coffee pots to make sure I stayed out of his head. It was kind of amusing, honestly.”

“Is that right…?” Dipper muttered, and Bill made a noise. 

“You should ask him about it yourself,” he suggested, giving Dipper a look. “In fact, you definitely should.”

“Definitely, huh?” Dipper repeated, and Bill crossed his arms, the look never wavering.

“I mean, it is only just a suggestion. By the way, Pinetree… do you think I’m stupid?”

Dipper sputtered, looking up at Bill in confusion. “Stupid? I don’t know you well enough to judge.”

Bill rolled his eye and floated closer to Dipper by a bit. “Well, you obviously think _something_ of me. You know you can’t hide your thoughts from me, Pinetree.”

“Then you know how much I hate you.” Good, it was a start.

“Yes, and everytime I hear it, the more it hurts. Can’t we just get along?” Bill feigned sadness, sniffling. This time, Dipper was the one giving Bill the weird look.

The dream demon chastised himself, but made sure not to let his inner thoughts show to the teenage boy in front of him. His goal was to get _closer_ to Pinetree, not try and show him that Bill hadn’t changed a bit. He was just being himself; was that so wrong?

Dipper opened his mouth to speak when Bill held up his hand, looking at his opposite arm. “Oh, man, would you look at the time? I have to get going; it’s almost time to wake up!”

Dipper raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask, Bill snapped his fingers and the world around him went dark.


	4. Observations and Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ford keeps a close eye on Dipper’s dreams for any hints as to why Bill came back to pester the teenager while Bill nearly gets raped in a corner at 8-Ball’s party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter, nearly to the point of rambling. Also ~~dance~~ party for Bill! YEAH!!!
> 
> One ‘~’: scene change, same POV; ‘~~~~~~~~~~~’: POV change, generally a different scene.

Dipper’s eyes fluttered open a few seconds later, pulling forward and allowing his head to fall ahead of him due to the extra weight. He groaned, stretching his neck as he reached up to disconnect Project Mentem. In front of him, Ford was holding a pen to his mouth, staring intently at his notepad. The teenage boy grunted again as he held his hand to his neck, rolling his shoulders with a pop. “What time is it?”

“6:17 A.M,” Ford answered with disinterest, tapping the pen against his lower lip. Dipper let out a breath. 

“You stayed up all night?”

“I had to. Your dreams were interesting.”

“How did three hours pass with such a small dream?” Dipper rubbed his face and thanked his great uncle as a cup of coffee was offered to him. He made a mental note to ask Ford about how long he made himself stay awake with coffee alone and why as he took a sip of the steaming caffeine concoction.

Ford shook his head. “After Bill disappeared, your dream shifted from the woods to something a lot more entertaining. I was sad to miss it, but I had to go get coffee.”

Dipper didn’t even want to know. “How many cups have you had?”

“Just recently? Probably 15.” He laughed at Dipper’s expression. “Relax, Dipper; I can handle at least 50 before I have a caffeine crash.”

Dipper tried not to freak out too hard as he sipped from his cup. “So did you learn anything as to why Bill might’ve come back?”

Ford bit his pen, furrowing his brows. “Nothing. It’s worrisome. You mentioned having dreams with Bill before in letters, and even described a few to me, but nothing seemed remotely close to how he was acting just now. I’ve never seen him in such a state.”

Dipper raised his own eyebrow. “Really? He didn’t seem any different to me.”

Ford leaned back, picking up his mug and swirling it slowly. “It’s too soon to say. Dipper, would you mind sleeping down here for a few more nights so I can observe your dreams more? Bill is acting really strange, and…” Ford didn’t finish, but Dipper’s brain jumped to conclusions.

_And I want to make sure he’s not planning something._

Another voice argued that Dipper was incorrect with thinking that, but it was the only line of thought he allowed himself to think on the matter. Bill and Ford had a deeper relationship that Dipper could understand, sure, but he didn’t allow himself to think about the possibility of Ford actually caring about the scalene devil. 

“Yeah, of course,” Dipper agreed, content with the thought that Bill wouldn’t get away with doing anything crazy while in Dipper’s dreams with Ford looking over him while he slept.

“Good, good. Now, what do you think about us making breakfast before Mabel gets up, huh? We can make French Toast.”

Dipper smiled and stood up with his great uncle. “Sounds good, Grunkle Ford.”

As they left the room, Ford made idle chat with his great nephew, trying to hide his inner thoughts. Through research and a slip-up on Cipher’s part, Ford knew everything about soulmates; and that wasn’t just a boasting statement. Ford had spent nights learning everything he could about soulmates, even if it meant interrogating Bill about it. Which he did, and surprisingly got a few decent answers about it. He was tempted to write it down in Journal #3, but Bill demanded that any information about it was kept in a place that only Ford knew about, and that’s where it stayed for nearly 35 years. He wasn’t really looking forward to pulling it out, but it could help aid him in helping Dipper out. 

And that raised another thought.

Back when Ford first met Cipher, after he learned about soulmates, he let himself think that maybe, just maybe, Bill was his other half. It would only make sense; Bill sought Ford out, despite there being people who were just as smart, if not smarter than Ford, but Bill stuck through with him, and remained part of his life, even when Ford was trying to kill him. Bill seemed to favor Ford over anybody else; including the rest of the Pines. Ford was so sure he was Bill’s second piece; and that Bill was his, even if he didn’t want it to be so. That’s is how it would be, forever and ever.

At first, Ford dreaded the thought, but with the current situation, he wished it was him rather than Dipper. 

~

“Aaannd… done!”

Dipper leaned over Ford’s shoulder and laughed, turning away from the pan to focus on his own project. “That looks really good, Ford. You’re a great artist!”

Ford glanced at Dipper’s handiwork and chuckled. “It must run in the family.”

Dipper snorted under his breath, remembering Mabel’s artwork-- not only in Journal #3, but also during the years. “Not all of us.”

“I’m sure some people would be very offended to hear that,” Ford scolded through his laughter.

“Maybe, but it’s not really a bad thing. It gives her art a unique style. You look at it and just know it’s Mabel’s.”

Ford nodded. “I can agree with that.”

Upon reaching the kitchen, the elder man came up with a unique idea to make pancakes that looked like each other. Ford was assigned Stanley and Dipper was assigned Mabel to sculpt out on two skillets by drawing with pancake mix. It took a few tries, but they finally got the hang of it. They did themselves, too, as well as a few other designs. When Ford wasn’t looking, Dipper “accidentally” molded out a Bill pancake, but threw it into his discard pile and tried his hand at a unicorn. While he worked, he looked at Ford to see him making a top hat, and really trying to get the details down. They had enough designs to make a play at this point, and it was only 6:59. Mabel would no doubt be up at 7, and Stan would probably be up at around 7:15, or 8. 

“What’re you guys; making a movie with pancakes?”

Neither looked up from their work, too concentrated on making sure they did it right. Both were racing to see who could draw the most detailed Gremloblin they could manage the fastest. 

“Sheesh, if this is what you guys call breakfast, I don’t know if I can handle this.” Stan picked up a pancake shaped like a gnome from Dipper’s pile, admiring it. “Are you guys going to start doing 3D soon or what?”

Both of them paused, looking at each other before muttering things like ‘That’s too much work’ and ‘I don’t think that’s possible’. Stan rolled his eyes, grabbing Ford’s mug and putting it under the coffee maker, ejecting some of the freshly made liquid into the porcelain, casting a look over his shoulder as Dipper and Ford began to laugh.

“That looks nothing like it!” Ford wheezed as Dipper leaned down and rested his hands on his knees from laughing so hard.

“I messed up, okay? Yours looks just as bad!”

“It’s because I was in a hurry!"

Stan rolled his eyes before studying his glass, heading back upstairs. _Nerds._

~~~~~~~~~~~

What is ‘music’? What’s the difference between autotuned screaming and a guitar stringing with a casual drumbeat? Where’s the line between a man speaking with his words altered to hesitate and sound like he’s singing versus somebody actually singing? There is none, right? That’s what Bill thought anyway, yet here he was, standing in 8-Ball’s party with loud ‘music’ blasting him from all sides. Like he had anything to say; for the few moments they were on Earth, Bill played music at his party, too. Where did 8-Ball even get music? From the interdimensional messenger? Could she even do that? 

Well, she could probably do everything that involved delivering things, so probably. 

“Wow, check it out! It’s Bill!”

The triangle turned around to see Pyronica and Paci-Fire walking towards him. “Greetings, ladies.” They giggled as he tipped his top hat their way.

“Are you enjoying the party?” Pyro asked above the music.

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? Better than the last one, anyway!” Paci agreed as she tossed the red cup she was holding into her second mouth. 

Bill crossed his legs and looked around. “Yeah, I suppose. Pretty loud, isn’t it?”

“What was that?” Pyro practically screamed, but Bill waved her off.

“Nothing, nevermind. I hope you enjoy your time.”

As he went to leave, a large hand stopped him. He felt himself deflate as he looked back at them. They seemed… weird. Before he could ask, Paci pushed Bill towards a secluded part of 8-Ball’s home, and Pyro brought up a flame wall that blocked out the sounds.

“So, is it true?” she asked him, eyes alight with interest. “That you found your soulmate?”

Bill gave her a confused look. “Where did you hear that?”

“So it isn’t true?” Paci’s deep red eyes, too, looked a bit brighter at the statement. They looked at each other with interest.

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you didn’t agree to finding your soulmate,” Pyro purred, and Bill swore she inched a bit closer. He was tempted to end it right there, and even raised his hand, encased with blue. 

“What does it matter?”

Paci shrugged as Pyro stepped back, looking away nervously. Sometimes you gotta keep ‘em in check, or else they’re revolt, y’know? “We were just wondering. News travels fast around here, Bill. Somebody overheard that you were summoned to the Higher Power, and if you came back, that must’ve meant _something_ happened.”

“Yeah, and being as you’ve been known as a Halfie for some time…” Pyro covered her mouth shyly, as if afraid to actually outright say what everybody knew. Or at least thought.

“Yes, the Higher Power told me my soulmate.”

The excitement was back, and almost tangible. “Who is it?!”

 _Ugh. Girls._ Bill resisted the urge to roll his eye as he leaned against the wall, giving them a sultry look. It worked. The air was getting hot, making Bill _extremely_ uncomfortable, but he tried his best to ignore it. “Well…”

They leaned in, faced gradually becoming brighter with anticipation.

“...It’s…”

“Oh, stop teasing!” Pyro groaned, looking as if she was about to melt. What would they do if it _were_ one of them? They’d probably fight. Bill could never understand women, demons or not.

He allowed his eye to scan both of them, teasing them further. Paci was literally about to punch a wall, so Bill sighed and shrugged, emptying the contents of his cup onto the carpet below. The carpet gulped it up as if it were living. It probably was. 

“Pinetree.”

They both instantly looked dismayed as the word sunk in. “Wait, your soulmate is _human_?” Pyro gasped, looking at Paci, who was looking right back. 

“Yep. Well, you know who it is now, so I guess I’ll--”

Paci’s fist connected with the wall, caging Bill in. Startled, he flinched and, as usual, drew his knees up in alarm. “Paci-Fire, what do you think you’re doing?”

Pyro stepped up to her friend, placing a warm hand on the bulky monster’s arm. “Pas, calm down.”

Paci sighed, lowering her arm. “Why is it a human? _That_ human nonetheless? I would’ve imagined it to be the guy you turned to gold in Weirdmageddon.”

Bill thought the same, honestly. There was something about the old man that Bill was enticed by, almost to the point of actually wanting to return to old Sixer’s mind because of how infatuated Bill was with him. He would never admit it outright, but the insane raisin was who Bill would’ve rathered be his soulmate instead of some dumb kid like Pinetree. The thought of Sixer having another soulmate was almost saddening, but thinking about the same thing for Pinetree hurt worse. Maybe it’s because they’re soulmates.

Bill cleared his head. “Well, that’s not how it works.”

“What if you could choose your own soulmate? Who would you choose?” Pyro was clearly hinting at one of them, but Bill half-heartedly shrugged as he floated past them without passing them another glance. 

“The six-handed guy I turned to gold during Weirdmageddon.”

He didn’t stick around any longer in fear of his life ~~and innocence~~ , saying goodbye to a few people, heading outside to make another round before finding a dimension to pester.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bam!”

Mabel gasped, eyes widening (were those… sparkles?) as she looked at her pancakes. “Omigod they are so _cute_!!”

Ford and Dipper smiled at each other as Mabel picked up one of the pancakes, admiring the handiwork of the unicorn. “It’s so cute, I almost don’t want to eat i-- _nom!_ ”

The two boys laughed as she shoved the thing in her mouth, squealing past it as she noticed the one of her right under. Dipper pat her back as she started choking and Ford gave her an already-prepared glass of orange juice, as if they knew that was going to happen.

“Careful, Mabz.”

She responded with a gulp of her drink, beaming back up at them. From the other end of the table, Stan was staring blank-faced at his plate, where a pancake version of himself smiled widely up at him. His head was angled down, the kitchen light shining on his lenses, blocking them from seeing his reaction. Dipper cast a glance at Ford, who was staring keenly at his brother. Finally, Stan pushed his plate away, sighing. Ford actually looked offended. “Stanely, don’t you want them?” he asked, maintaining his normal stature as best he could.

“Well, that’s the thing, Poindexter,” Stan crossed his arms, still looking away with his eyes closed. Dramatic. “That?” He pointed at his face on the plate in the form of fried batter. “That is too handsome to eat.”

Dipper threw one of the pancakes from the discard pile at him, causing the older man to laugh while Ford’s shoulders fell slightly, half in relief and half in exasperation. Clearly, they were both affected by Stan’s joke, but were grateful he liked them. They were thankful that both Mabel and Stan liked them.

“Aren’t you guys going to eat?” Dipper and Ford jolted at Mabel, who was looking up at them with another pancake on her fork. However, they both shook their heads, holding up their hands in exact unison.

“Actually, we ate the rejects,” the teen said, looking back at the pile that remained. An expression of discomfort crossed his countenance and he shifted, feeling the pancakes in his gut fighting back.

“But there’re still some there!”

“We ate as much as we could.”

A look crossed Mabel before she took in a breath, letting out a soft ‘oooooohh…’ in understanding and continued to eat. Stan didn’t look very impressed as he eyed the pile on the plate.

“And what about those? Throwin’ ‘em out to the birds?” Stan pointed with his fork, causing the two nerds to look back at it. Ford shrugged and put his hands in his pants’ pockets.

“Maybe. Haven’t decided yet. We might keep them for leftovers.”

Stan scoffed and stuffed his face with another fluffy piece. “Wafetr yuhh fay, Ferd.”

Dipper stepped back to the stove, picking up the plate and putting it in the fridge as Ford began to clean the skillets. Dipper swiped all the bits of pancake that made it on the counter off into his cupped hand, trekking to the trash can to deposit them as Mabel and Stan continued to eat. 

“What do you guys say we have a nice, relaxing day, huh? We can sit and play cards or watch TV, as a family,” Stan offered from the table, and Mabel squealed.

“Omigosh _yes!_ Dipper, Grunkle Ford, bring your nerd stuff up here and hang out with us!”

Ford chuckled as Dipper smiled, slapping his hands-free of any other pancake-y bits. “We can join you without our nerd stuff.”

Mabel cheered and thanked Dipper as he took her plate, bringing it to the sink.

“What’s up with you two today, anyway? You usually sleep in until 9 A.M, kid, and Ford; I’ve never even seen you out as early as I did,” Stan continued to muse aloud while they both continued to clean up.

“We were both restless,” Ford answered, and Dipper nodded, not having anything to say. 

“Is that why you weren’t in bed, bro-bro?” Mabel inquired, peering back at them. Once again, Dipper bobbed his head in affirmative.

“Yeah.”

“Awwh… you need a day off.” 

Dipper snorted. “Off what? Off summer?”

“Yeah! We need to take a vacation.” Mabel tapped her finger on her lip. “I’m thinking Hawaii. What do you think, Grunkle Stan?”

Stan handed his plate to Ford and answered her with a half-hearted, “Eh. I’m more of a Washington guy myself.”

“It’s settled. We’ll go to Florida.”

“Hot beaches and sandy babes, here we come.”

Mabel giggled at his fumble, but said nothing as Dipper and Ford joined the table, a deck of cards in Ford’s fingers.

“Who’s up for some Egyptian Ratscrew?”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“ ** _What about this one?_** ”

The second and third shadows looked to the first, who was holding a glowing body between their large hands. Despite the light, their body was still darkened by the area around it. The third one made a gagging noise.

“ ** _What even_ is _that?_** ” The last one held their hand to its face. “ ** _It’s so… gross._** ”

The presenter looked at the figure in its hands. His bulbous belly was threatening to pop out of his yellow overcoat, leaning on one stubby leg with a cane planted on the ground despite floating in the air. He was lifting his small top hat, winking one of his disgusting eyes, face sinking from the weight of the fat on his cheeks. His mouth was open, teeth yellow and jagged, even without being sharp. Overall, he fit the description of grotesque.

“ ** _My design,_** ” it looked proudly at its creation. “ ** _What, don’t like it?_** ”

“ ** _Well..._** ” the third one sighed, revealing its own version. “ ** _I was thinking more like this..._** ”

The thing was small, with tiny legs and tiny arms with a tiny body. A sweater a bit larger than him was on his body, black tights covering his teeny legs, black boots nearly up to his knees, which were almost just about covered by his sweater. He had bigs eyes tinted yellow, rosy cheeks, a small nose, and a small mouth. The definition of small and adorable.

The room was silent for a moment, until the first spoke: “ ** _You disgust me._** ”

“ ** _Bill’s a cute kinda guy! Have you seen the way he draws his knees to his chest?_** ” It squealed. “ ** _So cute!!_** ”

The first one rolled their eyes. “ ** _He may be cute, but your design makes him look like a child._** ”

“ ** _Oh, but he IS a child!_** ”

“ ** _We are trying to get Cipher and Pinetree together, not make him a pedophile,_** ” the first snapped.

“ ** _Yeah, well, nobody would even want to be friends with your design!_** ” the last quipped.

The first looked to the middle one. “ ** _I hope you have something better._** ”

The middle said nothing as it opened its hands to reveal a tall, lean boy with blonde hair swooping over one of his eyes, shorter brown hair sticking to the back of his skull. His skin was slightly tanned, body covered by a yellow suit with a black skin-tight undershirt covering his arms before disappearing under a pair of gloves that flared out at the wrists. His body was slightly feminine, with small legs covered by tight black dress pants, also disappearing under a pair of black boots. He had a petite body, but he wore the yellow twin-tailed suit-coat well, a small cape buttoned to the shoulders. The three stared in silence for a while.

“ ** _It’s perfect,_** ” came from the last one, and the first one grumbled, looking away and crossing their arms.

“ ** _Doesn’t really fit him that well..._** ” 

The middle closed their hand around the body, encasing it in a small, glass-like bubble. “ ** _Then it is decided. When Cipher returns, we will break the news to him._** ”

“ ** _I hope he likes it!_** ” The last one said before messing with its own version of Bill, cooing at it while the first slapped it’s creation, not looking at it disintegrated, yellow, brown, and black molecules scattering into the empty air before disappearing forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The clicking of a pen echoed hollowly around them as Ford stared at the screen, where Dipper sat, one ankle on his knee as he pouted slightly, uncomfortable with the new space. This time, when Dipper fell asleep, he awoke in a study, seated in an armchair a few paces away from a fireplace, which crackled around him like surround sound. The first thing he tried to do was stand up but found that his wrists and ankles were bound to the chair by small, blue-glowing chains, restricting most movement other than standing and maybe taking a few steps. It was the same room Ford was trapped in, in the Fearamid. So now he sat, waiting impatiently for the demon to trapped him in the room in the first place to return from wherever he was.

“Great uncle Ford?” Dipper called out, ants crawling in his skin. “What do you think is happening? Where do you think Bill is?”

“I don’t know…” Ford muttered softly, looking at Dipper’s unconscious body. Restless in his dreams, yet ~~adorably~~ peaceful in person. It seemed… uncharacteristic for Bill to not be there immediately after Dipper fell asleep. It’d been almost 15 minutes and still no sign of him! Ford tapped his pen against his chin, furrowing his brows at the screen in thought. 

“Nerd stuff before bed is bad for your health. Didn’t you know that?”

Ford jumped with a startled sound, spinning to look up at Mabel, who was peering over his shoulder. “O-Oh, Mabel! You startled me!”

“Whatcha doing?” she sang as Ford tried to pull back. She looked up instead, eyes scanning the large screens. “Are you watching Dipper’s dreams?”

“Y-Yes…” Ford answered unsteadily, happy for the moment without Bill. If Mabel saw him, who knew what she’d do? Probably try to wake her brother up. It would only be the most reasonable thing to do, but would it work? Bill could probably force Dipper to stay asleep, having God knows what type of effect on his mind.

Ford didn’t know if he wanted to take the risk.

“Why?” Mabel asked, crouching beside her brother and snapping her fingers in front of his face. The Dipper on the screen was oblivious to the outside world, to his sister, as he bounced his knee, ankle bobbing in tune. A famous tic. 

“Well, because he’s been telling me about some strange dreams lately. Such as this one,” Ford motioned to the screen as Mabel stood, hovering behind him. “He wanted to see if it meant anything, so he’s having me analyze them.”

“Why hasn’t he been telling me?” Mabel asked dejectedly. “I’m his twin; I should know all this.”

“He doesn't really remember them that well; he just knows there’s something unsettling about them,” the elder continued, leaning back slightly. “That’s why he’s down here. I’m taking notes on his dreams to tell him about them later, so we can analyze them together.”

Mabel nodded, pulling up a stool from under one of Ford’s desks. “Makes sense. So, what’s happening?”

Ford motioned to the screen. “It’s been like this for nearly 20 minutes now.”

The teenage girl whistled, but said nothing more as they watched in silence. Ford began to feel uneasy about Bill’s arrival, if it even happened; Mabel would probably literally fall off her stool. There wasn’t anything Ford could do about it now, however; eyes glued to the screen, they both watched in anticipation as to what was going to happen next.

~

The room was oddly cold, despite the fireplace nearby. It was probably just for show. Dipper resisted shivering again as he rubbed his arms, trying to bring some warmth to them. According to the grandfather clock, it’d only been roughly 3 minutes, but it felt like an eternity before a familiar voice echoed in the room.

“Sorry I’m so late, Pinetree!” 

Dipper tensed as Bill literally popped into existence in front of him, mirroring Dipper’s pose with a wine glass in his hand, swirling it with an almost disinterested look in his eye. Dipper bit the inside of his cheek as Bill slowly raised his gaze to meet the teen’s in front of him.

“Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Understandable; I was a bit late.” Bill lowered the glass until a small table appeared below it in a burst of blue flames. Then he wrapped his fingers around his knee and ankle, pulling his leg up slightly, leaning forward to be a bit closer to his human companion. “C’mon, there’s nothing you can hide from me here! We’re all alone, feel free to speak your mind, because I know you know I already know what’s on it.”

Dipper squinted at him. “What?”

Bill shrugged, holding his hand open as a teacup spawned above it. “I mean, it’s not like you have your _great uncle_ or _sister_ keeping a watchful eye over you.”

Dipper felt chills. Oddly specific people to call out, especially with… 

Wait.

“What are you playing at?” 

“Playing at?” Bill laughed, tossing the teacup over his shoulder. Dipper didn’t get to watch it disappear. “I’m not ‘playing at’ anything, Pinetree! They’re the two who would care most about you if you were having weird dreams, right?”

Dipper wasn’t going to say it was wrong, and that’s all Bill needed.

“I was just throwing that out there, kid; don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Dipper ignored that comment and adjusted his position uncomfortably. “Listen, Bill, I don’t know why the heck you’ve suddenly started to bother me, but I’d appreciate it if you continued to leave me alone.”

Bill swirled his wine glass again, looking at the liquid with indifference. “I’ve already said this before, Dipper Pines,” Bill sighed as he looked up at the teen. “It’s because I like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the truth come out! Bill Cipher is am gay for Dipper Pines, but Dipper Pines does is gay for Bill Cipher?
> 
> (Blame Alex Hirsch for the Higher Power’s yearn for a fat, grotesque Bill, Doddlefur for adorable Bill, and Life-Writer [and many others] for sexy teen Bill.)


	5. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Ford are tired of Bill’s tomfuckery ft. Mabel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~New drinking game, take a shot every time Bill calls Dipper Pinetree.~~
> 
> Remember: One ‘~’ means scene change, same POV; ‘~~~~~~~~~~~’ means POV change, generally a different scene.

Dipper choked on air. “A-Are you serious?”

Bill looked mildly offended. “Of course I’m serious, Pinetree! You have a big brain; can’t you learn to use it?” The triangle leaned back in the air, giving Dipper a half-lidded look. “I have nothing more to gain from you, so why would I hang around? It’s because I find you interesting.”

“Or you’re just trying to use me as a puppet again!” Dipper’s grip tightened on the armchair. “You can’t fool me again, Bill!”

“Well, good, glad to see you’re stepping up on your defense,” Bill sighed as he hovered a bit closer to the brunet teen. “But the higher you build your walls, the harder they’ll fall. Remember that, Pinetree.”

Dipper closed his eyes, willing himself to wake up, but to no avail. The moment he opened his eyes again, all he saw was Bill, an amused look in his eyes and hands on his hips.

“You can’t escape me that easily.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why is that floating Dorito in Dipper’s mind, and why can’t Dipper wake up?!” 

Ford held his hands up to attempt to calm the raging girl down. “Mabel, please, relax! That’s what I’m trying to-- Mabel!”

Ford leaped to his feet and grabbed Mabel by her raised hand, tugging her away from her brother. “Dipper, wake up!”

“Don’t force him awake yet!” Ford hissed, pointing to the screen, where Dipper was struggling in his seat. “With Bill holding him there, who knows what pulling him into reality right now would do to his mind!”

“But he needs to wake up!” Mabel tore away from the older man and gripped Dipper by the arms. “Bro-bro, wake up, you sleepy-butt!!”

Ford’s attempts were useless as Mabel continued to shake the sleeping boy. On screen, the image began to haze slightly.

“ _Mabel!_ ”

The girl stopped at her great uncle’s grave tone, pausing and looking up at him, eyes wet with brimming tears. Ford heaved a sigh and took her hands softly. “Mabel, I understand you’re worried about the safety of your brother, but Bill is only in his dreams right now; not his mind. He cannot hurt Dipper in this state… but we can. By forcing Dipper awake while the spell Bill put on him is still active, we can tear Dipper’s mind apart. We need to be careful, and quiet, now that his sleeping state has been disturbed.”

The girl muttered a few apologies before settling back on her stool, looking up at the fuzzy screen. The words being projected were garbled, and Mabel glanced at Ford with worry. He was staring hard at the screen, waiting anxiously for anything to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The scene around Dipper shook and quivered, objects becoming blurred and slipping in and out of existence.

“W-What happened?” Dipper coughed as he looked around in alarm, looking down at his wrists. His blood froze as he saw his body, too, distorted. 

“Somebody tried to wake you up,” Bill informed, his voice on edge, much to Dipper’s surprise. “Seems your family is stupider than I thought.”

“What do you mean?” Dipper growled as Bill snapped his fingers, the chains on Dipper’s wrists coming undone. 

“Well, if somebody tried to wake you up while those chains were on you,” Bill began, admiring his fingernails, “your mind and body would’ve been ripped apart.”

“Wait, what?!” Dipper stood up a little too fast, wincing as his head began to spin. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am. Why do you keep asking that?”

Objects continued to blur around them. “Well, what’s happening _now?_ ”

“You’re trying to wake up. Sadly for you, until you fall back asleep, your mind is going to stay this way. If you wake up, though…”

Bill didn’t have to finish.

“H-Help me stay asleep!” Dipper cried, grabbing Bill’s triangular form. Both were surprised as he made contact, Bill instantly fidgeting away. “Please…”

“And why should I? You haven’t been nice to me since I came back…” Bill turned around and sniffled dramatically. 

“Like I don’t have a good reason!”

Bill shrugged and snapped his fingers, the items around them becoming solid again. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Besides, with you asleep again, that means we get to spend more time together!”

Dipper let out a groan as he flopped back into the chair, putting his head in his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel and Ford let out a sigh as the screen returned to its normal state, like a TV after fixing the antenna. Bill’s shrill voice echoed around them clearly now, causing them both to flinch. 

“Well, at least he’s safe,” Ford decided, and Mabel nodded beside him. 

“As safe as he can get with Bill there,” she agreed solemnly, 

“Which actually, if we’re being honest here, is pretty safe.” 

Mabel looked at him as if he just insulted his mother.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong!” Ford stuttered, holding his hands up quickly. “I don’t trust Bill any more than you do, but… Bill has over half control over Dipper’s dreams right now, and I doubt he would set off a nightmare on him.”

“But he could,” Mabel reasoned, and Ford sighed.

“Yes, he could, but… something tells me he won’t.”

As they looked at the screen, they saw Dipper glaring at Bill, who was leaning back, ankle on his knee again.

“Why me?” was the first thing Ford and Mabel heard, causing the demon to slightly tilt to the right from the loud outburst. “Out of the billions upon trillions of people and creatures in the universe, in the other dimensions… why _me_?”

_Why not great uncle Ford?_

They all heard it: Dipper, Bill, Mabel… Ford. The moment of shock was short-lived, however, as Dipper continued.

“You and Ford have a deeper history than we do, so why not pester him instead?”

Bill shrugged. “That’s not up to me to decide.”

“Bullshit!”

Mabel covered her ears with a grimace; Ford, however, was unfazed (or still trying to comprehend the fact that Dipper asked what Ford had been asking himself).

“I think you just like to torment me, don’t you? You just find my fear _hilarious!_ Well, no more! I’m done being your _fucking comedian!_ ”

And with that, Dipper once again forced himself out of the mindscape and into a reality sans Bill. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, now he’s just being rude.”

Bill lifted his glass to his eye and took a loud sip, leaning back against a wall. A small deformed creature that looked like a mix between a squirrel, a pug, and a lizard flicked its tongue at him.

“That’s what I said! I haven’t done anything to hurt him or his family since Weirdmageddon, when I clearly could’ve driven any of them to madness!” Bill raised his hands, flinging the liquid from his glass. Rather than flying out at normal speed, it slowly flowed out of his glass, as if they were in 0 gravity. Even as he ripped his cup back, the liquid stayed put, save for the bit still in his chalice, and continued to float away from them. “He should stop being such a crankypuss and talk to me, y’know?”

The creature blinked and looked away.

“I’m so glad _you_ understand me, Apollo,” Bill sighed as he stared at his cup. “You’re the only friend I got in this place.”

Bill watched as Apollo scampered away, before sighing and leaning back against the wall, glass hitting the floor with a ‘tnk’. Maybe he could call up 8-Ball or Kryptos; they’d probably be willing to cheer him up. Or at least try. 

Bill began to float from the wall, his arms and legs still slumped as he pulled himself from the ground and followed the broken path that lead around the ‘neighborhood’. It wasn’t quite as homely as Gravity Falls, but it still worked well enough to make the Nightmare Realm seem at least a little bit pleasant. 

Nightmare Realm _pleasant_. Talk about an oxymoron. 

Bill kicked some rubble and carped, “Pinetree’s an oxymoron.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dipper!”

The teenage boy winced as Mabel enveloped him in a tight hug, pulling away from him as Ford reached across to help him take off Project Mentem. “Mabel, what’re you doing here?” 

“I woke up and you weren’t there, and I tried texting you but got no response. I figured you were down here with great uncle Ford, so I tried it. There was a little bit of light coming from the second floor, and that’s when I saw all this,” she motioned around. “Dipper, why didn’t you tell me you were having dreams about Bill?”

Dipper flinched and looked up at the older man, busy in putting the mind reader down and recounting his notes. Obviously avoiding him. 

“They only just started,” Dipper explained. “A few nights ago. I thought it was going to be a one-time thing.”

“Has he done anything to hurt you? I’ll go in your head and beat him up myself!”

“Mabel, the incantation for doing that was in the journals, remember?” Dipper groaned as he popped his back. “And Ford threw those down the Bottomless Pit, like, four summers ago.”

“I’m sure it’s on the internet _somewhere,_ ” she scoffed, helping Dipper up.

“Besides,” Dipper continued, rolling out his neck, “he hasn’t done anything to hurt me _yet_ , besides the spell he just put on me.”

“Hey, wait a second!” Mabel spun on her heel, stomping and pointing a finger at Ford dramatically, causing the both of them to jump. “You lied to me! You said Dipper didn’t remember what his dreams were!”

Ford held up his hands. “Well, he usually doesn’t, except--”

“Nuh-uh!” Mabel sassed and snapped her fingers. Dipper half-heartedly expected something about the world around him to change, but it didn’t. “None more from you, great uncle Ford. Dipper?” she turned on him, and Dipper jolted slightly. “Do you or don’t you remember your dreams?”

“I… sometimes do. Like that one, I remembered the chains, because it was pretty scary, but… that’s basically it.”

Ford gave him a grateful look as Mabel nodded. “Alright, well, if you remember anything else, let me know, okay bro-bro?!”

“Of course,” Dipper nodded, and smiled at Ford as she popped her back.

“O _kay_ , I’m going to go to bed now. It’s been a long night,” she yawned. “See you guys in the morning. You coming, Dipper?”

The teen shook his head as his sister approached the elevator. “I wanna hear great uncle Ford’s analysis of my dream.”

Mabel nodded. “Alright, you nerds. Don’t pop a brain vessel!”

“We’ll try not to,” Ford joked as she began her ascent. With her departure, the cheery aura that she always carries went with her. The two men sighed as Dipper fell back into the chair, Ford pulling his notebook to him as he pulled his own seat closer to him, sitting down across from Dipper so their feet bumped. “Thank you for not… y’know.”

Dipper nodded, kicking Ford’s feet slightly. “Yeah, well…” Both of them took a minute to pause and recollect the events of the last few hours. The clock nearby read a blaring 4:19, which means Mabel would collect at least a decent 3 hours, and, if he was lucky, Ford would get at least 4 hours, if any hours at all. Dipper honestly felt bad for keeping his ~~old~~ great uncle up because of some stupid dreams that probably don’t mean anything. 

Well, never know until you analyze, amirite? 

“So, any ideas?”

Ford shook his head. “Bill is still as vague as he’s always been. According to his behavior, he seems… almost desperate, in a way he’s never shown before. He’s a lot more strategic when it comes to making a deal, tricking his victims and lying his way through their trust, but he hasn’t offered anything. He seems a little more determined to get past your barriers.”

“But why would he? I’ve asked him so many times what he wants, but he just tells me ‘to talk’. He isn’t making any sense!” Dipper pulled at some of his hair, gladly accepting the pen Ford offered, taking to clicking that instead of damaging himself. 

“That, I do not know. I don’t feel comfortable with you resting knowing that he will be there, but I would not ask you to try and stay awake. I’ve been down that road and I would prefer you not travel it yourself.” Ford took off his glasses and rubbed between his eyes, annoyed. “Would you hate me if I asked if you could sleep just once more down here?”

Dipper shook his head, touching the toe of his shoe to Ford’s boot. “No, it’s fine. Do you have a plan?”

Ford nodded thoughtfully, touching the butt of the pen in his hand to his lower lip. “I think I might.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~‘sans’ means ‘without’.~~


	6. Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Mabel go shopping, Dipper tries to get a part-time job, and Bill is a heartbroken child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the last few chapters have been lame

Dipper just had to survive one more night with Bill. Just one more night, and he was momentarily free. He had to admit, though: he was pretty skeptical when Ford came to him saying that he got applications from various businesses in town that needed somebody to work a graveyard shift; midnight to dawn. Dipper wasn’t too sure if he could actually survive a job like that, running on _little to no sleep._ It wouldn’t be easy, and definitely wasn’t healthy for a kid his age. He’d pulled all-nighters before, but those were usually on Fridays so he could sleep away Saturday to catch up on the sleep he’d lost the night prior. Ford was asking him to stay awake for dangerous lengths, and to _exercise right after his shift_ to stay awake and healthy. Coffee would be his best friend through this trying time. Of course, Dipper had proposed to try to ‘Bill-Proof’ his mind again, like they tried in the past, but Ford declared that it wouldn’t work for reasons he didn’t specify. Maybe it was too late; Bill was already in his head, so that would be like closing the gate _after_ the horse ran away. He reluctantly agreed, and made the promise that if he couldn’t stay awake any longer to at least try and contact Ford so more observations could be performed on Bill.

When Dipper was awake, he could only think about how glorious it felt to sleep and how for the past 18 years, he’d taken the minimal task for granted.

“Right, Dipper?”

The teenage boy jolted out of his own world, meeting his sister’s concerned gaze. For only getting roughly 4 hours of sleep, she looked more alive than ever. 

“Sorry, what?” He reached up to grab a loaf of bread, looking at the label before putting it back. 

“I said that guy we just passed was _definitely_ checking me out.”

Dipper cast a look over his shoulder to look at the flannel-wearing brunet they’d wheeled by. He was admiring a box of crackers, studying it in a conspicuous way. Dipper shrugged as he rolled to a halt in front of his twin, who was stretching to get something from the top shelf. She was rocking a different attire today: instead of having her hair braided, it was loose, a blue headband keeping her bangs separated from the rest of her hair. A deep blue sweater covered her torso, one side sliding off her shoulder to reveal the black tank top she wore under it, and a lighter blue skirt was around her hips, a pair of black leggings covering her legs, a bit of her ankles showing where the leggings stopped and her red converses began. 

Rather than his hoodie (as it had to wash), Dipper was wearing a red V-neck sweater with a black shirt under it and black pants. Unlike his counterpart, his hair was lazily combed and stuck out in every direction. He sighed as Mabel placed the loaf of bread in the cart. Dipper crossed the item off his list before continuing after his sister. “Do you really think so, Mabz? He could’ve been looking at the bread.”

Mabel scoffed as he grabbed a container of coffee beans, putting it in the cart and striking out the word on his paper. “I’m cuter than bread.”

“Some people could argue,” Dipper muttered as he made eye contact with the ‘Kawaii-loaf’ on the shelf, it’s black oval eyes staring into his soul. Dipper pushed the cart a little faster after the skipping teenage girl. 

“Besides, his eyes were on me the entire time. I even saw him look back over his shoulder at me!”

Dipper leaned on the cart and sighed, putting his head down slightly as Mabel grabbed a few cereal boxes, tossing them into the cart. “I didn’t notice.”

She stopped suddenly, making Dipper pull the cart to a halt in order to not run her over. “Hey, Bro-Bro, are you in there?” He laughed as she knocked her fist lightly on his head. “You’ve been spacey since last night. What did you and great-uncle Ford find out?” 

Dipper held his hand up and grabbed her wrist softly, moving it from his head. “Nothing, and that’s worrisome.”

Mabel sighed, leaning on one leg and putting her hand on her opposite hip. “I feel so excluded from all this nerd stuff of yours. I’m five minutes older than you, Dipper; you’re supposed to tell me if that Dorito with arms is bothering you.”

Dipper rolled his eyes as he playfully pushed the card forward, drawing it back towards him a second later. “I will, Mabel. You’ll be the first to know if we figure out why Bill’s back.”

She smiled in content and spun on her heel, pointing dramatically forward. “Good. Now, forward… _march!_ ”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill had always considered himself ‘a pretty chill guy’.

Today, he wasn’t chill.

“B-Bill-- BILL CALM DOWN.”

You could say chess was one of Bill’s favorite games, if not #1 on his list. Which meant that he hated when he lost.

For the past hour, a young girl had been examining her nails in disinterest as Bill plotted, planned, replotted and replanned what he was certain to be a winning match just to get beaten at his own game. That wasn’t what got him, though; oh no, not the losing part. Bill was fine with that, but what really got him was that the damn girl _didn’t even look at Bill once during the match._ She didn’t even look at the _board_ and _still_ beat Bill. She didn’t even flinch when Bill literally flipped the board at her, just for her bodyguard, Archaenus, to smack it away from the child in the blink of an eye. 

“YOU LITTLE TWERP!” Bill roared as pieces rained around her, not even touching her arm hair due to her overbearing canine guardian. His color rapidly changed from a soft yellow to a blaring red, growing a little bigger than he was originally. “WHAT IS SO INTERESTING ABOUT YOUR NAILS THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOUR OPPONENT IN BATTLE?!”

“I was wondering,” she hummed, switching from the bent look to the back-of-the-hand examination, “what shade of pink I should paint them for the party tomorrow. What do you think, Archaenus?”

“YOU HAD A PARTY YESTERDAY!” The demon continued, slamming his now-massive fists in front of her. Once again, nothing from her serene face. 

“And what’s wrong with that?” she inquired, finally lifting her red eyes to meet Bill’s. “There’s no such thing as too many parties.”

Bill let out a scream and picked up the table, slamming it back down in place so hard their chairs jumped. Even the monsters who came to watch the match jumped at the commotion, on edge and alarmed at the outburst. “IT’S FINE TO HAVE A FEW PARTIES, BUT YOU’VE HAD SO MANY THAT ‘PARTIES’ DOESN’T EVEN SOUND LIKE A REAL WOrD ANYMoRE!” Bill wasn’t so much angry anymore; mainly exasperated. His voice cracked a bit at his last shout, and he screaming into his hands as two life-sized chess pieces (Knights) reset the board at record speed. 

“Corene,” Archaenus knelt beside her, causing her to look up slightly. “It’s time.”

The girl sighed, pushing back her chair slightly and hopping off of it, her red-and-black dress fluttering slightly at the motion. “I’m sorry to cut this session short, Bill, but I have to get back to my own dimension now.” She held her hand out, and Bill (now regular-sized) shook it. “It was a pleasure, as always.”

“The pleasure was mine,” Bill quoted, and she gave him a soft smile before grabbing Archaenus’ hand and taking a few steps away. She paused and looked back over her shoulder at him, an unreadable expression on her face.

“There’s something on your mind, Bill Cipher. Perhaps, once it’s sorted out, we may battle again.”

Then they were gone. Pretty soon the other demons went with them, until it was just Bill, his companion, Teeth, and the Knights guarding the room. 

“What was that about?” Teeth asked as Bill snapped his fingers, transporting them in front of Teeth’s home. Bill kept his gaze to the ground, an irritated look on his surface. “Bill?”

In a heartbeat, Bill put on a cheery facade, offering his arms to the sky and said in a chipper voice: “Just a little exhausted, Dentals; don’t worry about it.”

Teeth ~~somehow~~ looked mildly put off by the nickname, but trusted Bill and, with a simple goodbye, fled into his abode. Alone, Bill’s mind wandered back to the human teenager who bothered him more than he should’ve as he assumed his route of making sure everything was safe and in order in the Nightmare Rea--

_Are you kidding me?_

A riot of creatures held the hovering demon’s attention, and though he could barely see over the crowd, he was able to make out the shuffling movements of what appeared to be a fight.

“Not this again,” Bill growled as he flew faster towards them, growing in size. “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME PEACE AROUND HERE?”

His booming voice was enough to cause almost the whole crowd to disperse with hurried, frightened, and even disappointed noises, leaving the two culprits (and a few others) alone to cower under the dream terrorist’s overpowering gaze.

“He started it!” the small orb shouted up at him, directing one of his wispy arms towards the offending pink glob. 

“Not even!” the mass declared, its bulbous body quivering slightly. “You’re the one who tripped me!”

“You tripped _over_ me!”

“ENOUGH!” Both monsters shied away from the red-tinted triangle. “I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR EXCUSES ARE. I SPECIFICALLY DECLARED NO FIGHTING EXCEPT ON THE THIRD TUESDAY OF EVERY MONTH. AND WHAT IS IT?”

They averted their gazes and muttered in unison, “The third Monday…” 

“THAT’S RIGHT. BECAUSE YOU JUMPED THE GUN, YOU TWO WON’T BE PARTICIPATING IN THIS MONTH’S ANNUAL NIGHTMARE WAR.”

They both groaned, but with another menacing look from Bill, they both complied, sulking back to their homes. Bill sighed as he reverted back to his original small stature, the other few demons around looking at him. He closed his eye before moving past them and continuing his rounds. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, that’s the last one.”

Dipper exhaled as he rolled out his wrist, setting his pencil down. “What if they all want to hire me?” he asked the man sitting across from him, who hummed as he looked through the papers in his hands. “What if _none_ of them want to hire me?”

“At least one will,” Ford told him as he laid them out. “But for now, think about which one you’d really want to work at.”

A cafe, a convenience store, or a library. Dipper was really into reading, but if he chose that, he’d probably read everything rather than work. A cafe was always a nice choice; coffee at the ready, breakfast for dinner; probably the best option, but Dipper was oddly drawn to the convenience store. Those usually had coffee machines, too, and snacks! 

“The convenience store,” Dipper decided finally, looking at the application he filled out for it.

“Great. Ready?”

Dipper nodded as Ford stood up, pushing his chair back in. Pretty soon, Dipper followed suit, taking the other applications. “Gimme a second to run these to my room.”

Ford nodded, looking over the convenience store application as Dipper jogged to his room and skipped up the stairs. Something moved out of the corner of his eye. Something… dark, and humanoid, like a shadow. Dipper paused, looking towards where it was, and was startled to see what looked like a woman, thinner than Mabel ~~and _naked_~~ with longer hair floating a few inches above the ground. Dipper told himself not to panic, that stuff like that happened all the time in Gravity Falls, that he shouldn’t be alarmed ~~or allured~~ by her appearance ~~or the messenger bag that pressed between her breasts~~. He met her glowing eyes in shock, but when he blinked next, she was gone.

Taking no time to dwell on the experience, Dipper hurried to his room, put the papers on his bed, and raced back downstairs, where Ford was tying his boots. Ford motioned to the door as he put his foot back down, and the two of them walked out of the shack. The vision of the girl was still behind his eyelids, but Dipper waited until they were almost in town to bring it up.

“Hey, Great-uncle Ford?” Dipper began hesitantly, feeling like his 12-year-old self; he felt so small, trying to talk to somebody older, more intelligent, more experienced than he. He was almost as tall as Ford now, but he still felt so… miniscule, so irrelevant. 

“Yes, Dipper?” Ford questioned, smiling down at his nephew. Dipper took a second to look over his face, to marvel at the fact that Ford seemed to not age a day older than he was when he stepped out of the portal. Maybe the radiation was affecting his body, making him age slower. 

Then Stan would technically be the eldest out of them, wouldn’t he?

Huh. 

Dipper was thinking about this too hard.

“Uh… what… do you know about a shadow creature with a messenger bag?”

Ford gave Dipper a weird look, opening his mouth before stopping-- literally. He stopped walking and everything. “Raven wings?”

“Is that her--” Dipper bit his tongue, thinking back to the figure. “Uh… yeah. Sh-- They had that.”

Ford let out a deep breath. “That… Dipper, where, how, and when did you see her?”

“I just saw her upstairs,” Dipper said, shifting on his feet. “When I went up to put the papers in mine and Mabel’s room. She was just… there. In the shadows.”

Ford motioned Dipper inside of the convenience store they were heading to. “We’ll talk more about that in a minute. For now, we get you a job.”

~

Dipper didn’t know where the rest of the day went. He turned his his application, he and Ford went back to the shack, and then it was dark outside, and Dipper was back in the chair, Ford’s hands running over his head to fit Project Mentem on it. Mabel always joked that Dipper’s head size was larger than most, but their mother would retort that it was because Dipper was smarter than most. A burn on Mabel, but they all just laughed it off. Dipper hadn’t really paid it any mind, until he saw a note on Ford’s desk to himself about upgrading the size and fit of Project Mentem, as it seemed “too small for Dipper’s head.” 

Come to think of it, the next few times he put it on, it did have a looser fit than the first time he wore it.

“No, Dipper, you don’t have a big head,” Ford said, causing Dipper to jump while his own voice echoed a word he tried to never say aloud. Ford seemed unfazed by it, though, sitting at his chair. The teen didn’t even notice Ford had successfully hooked him back to the machine. “It’s just an irrational joke. But I did make some adjustments to the mind reader, in case you were wondering.” 

“Oh, yeah… I thought so,” Dipper muttered as he shifted in his chair. It was always awkward, getting hooked up to the mindreader, and then idly chatting with Ford until he fell asleep. It was especially weird because Ford never slept; he had to focus on the dreams, on what was happening. He couldn’t let a single word, a single hesitation, a single shift in the background pass him by; he needed to see it all. As far as Dipper knew, he did. He saw everything. It was definitely offsetting, but Dipper was grateful for his great uncle’s presence, keeping a watching eye on Bill. 

“Don’t worry about me, Dipper,” Ford said, staring into his mug. Dipper chastised himself for forgetting Ford could hear his thoughts (and then chastised himself for thinking that), but Ford continued, “I’m used to not sleeping.”

“You’ll catch up on sleep once this whole thing blows over, right?”

Ford nodded, sipping his coffee. “Of course. You have my word.”

Dipper eased slightly at that, leaning back in the chair, throwing his ankle on his opposite knee. Ford was doodling in his notepad, probably UFOs or gnomes; maybe even Bill. Dipper decided not to think about it and reclined back slightly, closing his eyes and sighing, trying to fall asleep when a thought hit him.

“Hey, where is Soos and Melody, anyway?” 

The words echoed slightly as his thoughts repeated, and Ford jumped slightly before looking up at him.

“They went to visit Melody’s family back in Portland. They’re supposed to be there all summer, and said they’d come back to continue running the shack, as Stanley and I are supposed to be leaving come end of summer, too. We only came back to visit with you and Mabel, after all, so there wouldn’t be any reason to stay and man the shack when they return.”

Dipper frowned, looking at his feet. Soos and Melody owned the shack now, technically, so it only made sense, but it was still sad that Stan and Ford had to give up their home. Dipper knew that Soos was happy to have them back, but the way Ford phrased it made it seem like Soos was going to force them back onto the Stan O’ War II.

Luckily, it seemed Ford tuned out Dipper’s thoughts, as he didn’t make any extra comments to whatever Dipper’s brain was sputtering. Probably for the best, being as his mind was always racing. Especially when Bill’s name appeared multiple times in multiple different sentences on the screen. 

_Relax,_ he told himself, taking a deep breath in. _You’ve done this so many times before, so what’s the issue now?_

 _It’s the last time,_ another voice reasoned in his head. _The last time you’re going to sleep, and the last time you’ll see Bill._

_Isn’t that a good thing?_

It should be. But, for some reason… Dipper couldn’t will himself to sleep. He needed to do something. 

“Great-uncle Ford, can I have a piece of paper?”

Ford ripped one of the sheets out without hesitation, handing him the _whole pad._

“Oh.”

“I have a surface to write on,” Ford said dismissively, taking another sip before standing, passing Dipper the pen. “I’m going to refill on coffee. Want anything?”

“Ah… no thanks.” Dipper watched his relative leave the room, frowning, before looking at the pad. His curious side made him want to flip through the small notebook, but he decided not to, putting it down to roll up his sleeves. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t sleep. 

He picked the paper back up, clicking the pen a few times before making sure the point was out and pressing it to the paper, allowing himself to draw whatever came to mind.

~

Ford tapped his foot, eyeing the basement while his coffee brewed. It was taking too long for it to make. Dipper could already be asleep, Bill could be tormenting him, and Ford wouldn’t be there to make sure everything was fine. Ford was about ready to blow a hole into the basement to make sure everything was okay when something made a noise behind him. 

Paranoia rearing up from the dark depths it hid itself in for years, Ford instinctively reached for the nearest weapon, spinning around, holding the chef’s knife butt-end to his side. Without even meaning to, he entered a fighting stance: knees bending slightly with feet spread apart and shoulders hunching to make for easy attack, dodge, or flee. PTSD from having to fend for his life for 30 years. He softened his breath, making himself quiet, with nothing but the creaking house, coffee boiling, and the blood pounding in his ears to be heard. His eyes ran across the darkness slowly, scanning for whatever made the noise. Nothing moved. He tried to listen in on the room around him, but was once again met with nothing but the sound of the coffee machine. He told himself to relax, that the noise was nothing but his overactive imagination and sleep-deprived state conjuring something up to scare him. Even still, he didn’t allow himself to relax just in case--

Something touched his hair.

Reeling around, he jerked his arm out so the blade slashed at…

...empty air. Of course it was empty air. What else would there be? 

It was probably just the Hide-Behind. He had bad problems with it in the past, but, then again, he never really heard anything about it getting inside houses.

The coffee machine buzzed. A heavy step behind him. Ford slashed.

“Whoa hey whoa!” 

Ford paused his attack just a split second before the knife cut into Stanley’s wife beater. “Stanley?”

“What the heck, Sixer?” Stan asked, clicking the light on, illuminating the room, the light glinting slightly off his glasses. “Why were you making coffee in the dark? Why do you have a _knife_?” 

“I… Stanley, I’m sorry,” Ford set the knife down, the presence of his twin enough to calm his nerves. He didn’t want to nearly slice his brother open.

“Guess we’ve both got PTSD.” Stan grabbed the pot and grabbed to mugs, filling them both up and handing one to Ford. The comment hit Ford like a physical hit, but he kept a straight face as he took the cup. “Where’s Dipper?” 

“Downstairs,” Ford answered, shifting on his feet as he blew slightly on the liquid. “I just needed a quick refill in order to keep an eye on him.”

“Seems like you’re leaving him alone for a long time. You really trust him down there with all your stuff?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Ford leaned his tailbone on the counter, holding the mug with both hands.

Stan shrugged. “He’s a pretty curious kid. Guess you’re just selectively trusting.”

“What do you…” Ford frowned, setting his cup down. “Stanley, show me your eyes.”

“What?”

“Your eyes,” Ford stepped forward, reaching for Stan’s glasses. “Show me.”

Stan smacked his arm away. “Why? What’s wrong with you?”

“Stanley--!”

Stan then proceeded to trip over a chair, catching himself on his arms with a grunt. Ford fell in an attempt to tackle him, but Stan rolled out of the way, standing up. Ford landed on his hands, pushing himself into a roll and landing on his feet, turning to face his twin. 

“What do you have to hide?” Ford snapped, backing Stan against the counter. He reached for the lenses again, but Stan slapped him away. He tried with his other hand. Another slap. Ford went faster, and soon they were like children, smacking each others hands childishly. Eventually Ford had enough, slapping Stan in the face hard enough to knock the glasses askew. Silence filled the room. Then Stan started laughing.

“Wow, Poindexter, didn’t think you had it in you,” his voice was low as he slowly turned to face Ford, adjusting his glasses to sit back on his face, “to slap your own twin.”

His voice morphed into something more high pitched, and when Stan lifted his gaze, two yellow cat-eyes met Ford’s. 

Ford stepped back, instantly wishing he had his knife. “St-- Bill.”

The demon cackled, leaning back slightly, popping Stan’s back. “I almost had you fooled, too. Drat, I wanted to spend some extra time with you. We haven’t had a chat in a long time. Didn’t you miss me?” Bill stretched Stan’s cheeks into a wide grin. “Admit it, you missed me.”

“What do you want, Bill?” Ford growled as his fingers curled around the knife’s handle-- 

Wait, knife’s handle?! So this was just a dream… 

Indeed, the moment he realized this, Stan’s body faded away, leaving only the bright yellow figure in front of him, eye curled into a mouthless smile. Even the background faded out slightly. 

“Awh, I really wanted to have more fun with you,” he sighed, closing his eye and crossing his arms. Roughly after he did that, he looked alarmed, much to Ford’s surprise. “Wait, no, is this gonna… oh, darnit!” Bill hissed, shuffling his bricks so he was facing the other way and kicked the counter. Confused, Ford just watched him as he huffed when suddenly Bill spoke behind him: “Pinetree is going to be so upset.”

Ford jumped away from the voice, spinning to look at the tormenting geometry shape. “What are you talking about now, Cipher?”

“Your promise to him,” Bill snapped his fingers, bringing them to the basement, where Dipper, in real time, was doodling in the notepad. His sleeves were up, and his veins strained against the taut skin of his arm from drawing. “About sleeping once ol’ Dip here got a job. Remember?” 

Another snap brought them back to where Dipper asked if he’d catch up on sleep.

“You have my word.” 

Once the words were uttered, they were back in the kitchen. “You wouldn’t go back on your word, would you?” 

Ford turned his body away and said nothing.

“Listen, Fordsy,” an arm wrapped around him, but Ford kept his gaze away as the shape leaned against him slightly. “Why don’t you take a day off? Relax? Take a nap. I’ll take care of Pinetree; you won’t miss anything important.” 

“No,” Ford shrugged Bill away. He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but though his lips formed words nothing came out. Bill gave him a bemused look as he shrugged.

“Alright, but at least do us all a favor, and get some sleep. You deserve it.”

With another snap, Ford nearly fell to the floor, the smell of fresh coffee snapping his senses. He was leaning against the same counter he was against when the Stanley in his dream approached him, arms crossed with head down as he rested. He didn’t even know he fell asleep.

Pouring himself a cup, he stuck the pot back under the machine and fled the kitchen hurriedly, skin crawling with the feeling of somebody watching him.

~

Dipper pulled his ankle onto his knee, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. Getting some ideas out of his head had finally made him tired enough to settle against the back of the chair, despite the mildly uncomfortable position. Part of him wanted to wait for Ford to come back, so he knew that Bill couldn’t get away with anything, but Dipper didn’t know how long it would take before Ford would return. Besides, his mind was finally beginning to go blank, and he slacked out his legs for maximum comfort. He thought he heard the sound of somebody else sitting across from him, but ignored it, and allowed himself to drift to sleep. 

The next image in his mind was the same forest that usually haunted his dreams, this time set with a red-and-white checkered blanket and woven basket. All the food was laid out (mainly any generic thing you would find in at a picnic) and fresh tea was steaming from slim Japanese tea cups. It was a beautiful day.

Dipper slowly sunk onto the mat, crossing his legs and looking around. He didn’t really trust this, but what was honestly the worst that could happen? Dipper picked up a cup and looked into it when a voice came from above him. “Nice of you to join.”

When he looked up, Bill was floating across from him, pouring himself another glass of tea. Dipper didn’t even notice he drank it. Bill reclined back slightly, resting his ankle on his opposite knee, putting one arm behind his head. “Nice day out, huh?”

Dipper said nothing, staring into his cup.

“Man, what is up with Pines and staring into their cups of hot liquid? You’re gonna fog your glasses.”

As if on cue, a line of steam directed itself directly onto the glass on his face, causing him to pull back, set the cup down, and take off his glasses. “What’s up with this?” Dipper finally spoke, squinting up at the figure across from him. Bill blew on the cup (yes, with his eyelids) and Dipper thought he was just going to ignore the question when the demon shrugged.

“Just a little something I cooked up. Like it?”

Dipper fit his glasses back on his face and poked a Baguette with an eyebrow raised. “It’s a little… over-the-top. Besides, I’m asleep; I can’t necessarily eat this.”

Bill fell forward slightly, taking his foot of his knee and met Dipper’s gaze with a frown (or, probably a frown. At least his eye was frowning, however that worked). “It’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?” 

Even if Dipper didn’t want to admit it, Bill kind of had a point. “You still didn’t tell me why you did this.”

Bill took a sip of his tea. “Well, do I have to explain myself? I just wanted to have a nice day out with one of my favorite Pines.”

“What’s the point?” Dipper bit his lip. Did he know that this was going to be the last day that they were going to be together?

...Okay, abort that thought.

Bill looked mildly taken aback. “Wait, what do you mean ‘last day’?” His eye began to shine with fake tears as Dipper cursed himself. “Pinetree, are you… leaving me?”

“Yes,” Dipper said simply, holding the cup to his lips and downing it so he didn’t have to respond to anything else Bill said. A second later, he turned and sputtered up the gasoline that was in place of tea. Goddammit. 

Bill looked like he was about to say more when the cup in his hand caught fire, and no doubt the gasoline wasn’t helping. Stormclouds raced in at a ridiculous speed, the forest going dark other than the glow from Bill’s cup and the trees surrounding them. “I see how it is. Actually, no. I don’t. I don’t understand why you’re so _hostile to me_. I didn’t do anything to you or your family for _four years_ , Pinetree, and this is the thanks I get?” As he spoke, the world became more decrepit, to the point where Dipper had to jump off the mat, which morphed into a glowing pit of lava, swallowing the food on the blanket. The air was thick with smoke and ashes, burning his eyes. “Fine, be that way.” 

Dipper barely had time to dodge a large flaming tree crashing beside him, some of its branches landing in the lava. The grass turned black. He looked back up at Bill to see the triangle large, hovering him, a power being with his eye glaring down upon the helpless human prey. 

“Soon, you won’t be able to avoid me.”

Bill snapped, and there was a large cracking sound as a tree from behind Dipper began to fall forward, it’s flaming branches headed straight towards him.

Hands were on Dipper’s shoulders, and he was surprised by himself when he didn’t deck Ford in the face. Project Mentem was off his head, his eyes were stinging, and his mind was swimming. When his eyes focused, Ford looked concerned and alarmed, gripping his shoulders tightly. 

“We need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to Ikimaru for Mabel and Dipper’s outfit today <3  
> Corene and Archaenus are OCs: Corene is the goddess of fun and Archaenus is her guardian, both from a different dimension, as mentioned. 
> 
> hEY! I wanna get more involved with y’alls. 
> 
> sO! What’s your favorite ship from the show?! Absolutely no shamin’ here; shame-free community. Anyone who shames get flamed 
> 
> I’ll admit a few, just so y’alls don’t feel ashamed: BillDip, as y’all know, BillFord (naturally), FiddAuthor, and Stancest c: ~~Also been hella cravin’ some… ForDipper? ForDip? Somethin’ like that.~~  
>  …  
>  ~~DipFord??~~  
>  ~~Y’all probably noticed small little things hinting, such as their feet touching, or how Ford noticed his veiny arms~ <3~~  
>  ~~that’s cuz im trash~~


	7. It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper gets the number of a brunet kid and Bill figures out what it’s like to live again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update; I was busy all day yesterday.
> 
> But, anyway, here we go.

Dipper had been working for a week at the convenience store in town, a hot thermos of Ford’s concoction he calls coffee which was _definitely_ not coffee the only way he’d survived that long without any sleep. His mixture had a stronger kick that kept Dipper awake way after it was finished, wherein normal coffee kept him awake while he still had some in his cup, and then it was back to nearly falling asleep at the counter. He got paid enough to have roughly three cups of coffee during his shift, which, before Ford started making him coffee to take to work every night, was no where near enough to keep him awake enough to last until dawn. It didn’t help that since day one, Ford met him in the driveway of the Mystery Shack to _exercise_. Dipper hadn’t exercised since the end of sophomore year, which was years ago, so when he heard that in his sleepless state, he giggled and brushed Ford off just to be dragged by his arm into the forest on what Ford has declared to his his designated exercise area. They ran a few laps (which nearly gave Dipper a heart attack and caused minor lung failure), then proceeded to do push ups, sit ups, pull ups, and then another two laps before heading in to have breakfast. It’s not good to exercise on an empty stomach, nor on a full one, but eating right after getting home would’ve caused Dipper to pass out on the spot. As it was, he nearly did anyway.

Since Ford had been making the coffee, Dipper had been a little more ready to handle the exercising, and at times after, they would both just sit in the kitchen and drink the liquid, both tired from staying awake and exerting themselves despite being exhausted. Eventually Dipper made Ford take a nap, while Dipper went shopping with Mabel, and came back to find him still asleep, with a blanket and pillow. Most likely Stan’s doing. Dipper kept an eye on him, to make sure he wasn’t having nightmares, and even brought out his laptop to play computer games, an ear open to listen for any noises of distress his great uncle might make just to find the old man sleeping like a rock. Stan was even surprised, not only to see Ford sleeping, but that he was hardly making a sound other than breathing. Eventually Ford got into the habit of falling asleep roughly after Dipper would head out to work, and wake up when Dipper would get up, leaving enough time to get dressed, put on more coffee, and meet his nephew for more exercise. Not only was it healthy, but it helped get blood pumping enough to stay awake. Plus it was kind of nice to have somebody to exercise with.

Dipper and Mabel hung out usually during the day, either about the town, or hanging out with old friends, such as Candy or Grenda. 

Okay, mainly Candy and Grenda.

The twins were bored of being cooped up in the Mystery Shack, especially since it was an odd day void of tourists, so they slipped on their shoes, Dipper grabbed his thermos, and they went out, Mabel writing a message out to her friends, telling them where to go. 

“Are you going to go boy hunting again?” Dipper asked, lifting the thermos to his lips.

“Dunno yet,” she sung as she skipped ahead, pausing to let Dipper catch up. “We might. You can’t cop out on us again, either; you were our best scout!”

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult, but I don’t want to know,” Dipper sighed, shaking his head, denying himself a sip. “Does Grenda have that long-distance thing going on?”

“Yes, but I don’t, and Candy’s trying to open herself up more, since she knows her crush doesn’t like her.”

Dipper swirled the container slightly, staring at it. Bill was right about Pines staring at their cups of hot beverages. Half of him wanted to ask if Candy still liked him, as he knew that used to be a thing, but decided not to and followed his energetic sister with heavy feet. He pushed his fingers under his glasses, rubbing his eyes slightly, and went to take a drink when his arm hit somebody walking by, nearly spilling the drink all over him and the stranger.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” He said as the person said “Excuse me.” at the same time. Before he even thought about it, he looked at who he hit, and who it was shocked him.

“Wendy?” His jaw slacked as he stared at the redhead who he was now roughly an inch taller than, stepping back. The woman blinked as she met his gaze before she, too, widened her eyes.

“No way. Dipper?!”

Ahead of them both, Mabel had stopped to assess the situation with sparkly eyes.

Unlike Dipper, Wendy had stuck to a green plaid, blue jeans and green studs, and still had her long red hair, though she ditched her hat, apparently. She hadn’t changed much, except maybe her height, but Dipper honestly couldn’t tell. 

Before he could speak again, she pressed a hand to the side of his face, turning his cheek as she laughed. “Dude, you look amazing in those studs! When did you get them?”

Dipper flushed slightly as she admired them, turning his face the other way to see if he had a matching one on the other side. “When I turned 15.”

“That’s awesome,” she chuckled as she took her face away, brushing some hair from her face. “You’ve grown a lot since I saw you last.”

The last they saw each other was the summer that Dipper and Mabel were turning 15. She turned 18, fully graduated and ready to head off to college. Neither Dipper nor Mabel really hit that big of a growth spurt until they turned 16, so seeing Dipper taller than her was probably shocking.

“Yeah,” Dipper smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. Wendy reached up and fiddled with some of his hair, causing his face to heat up slightly.

“You ditched your hat?” she noticed, and he nodded. 

“Yeah, I… outgrew it.” 

“Why don’t you buy a new one?” she asked, drawing her hand back from his head. Come to think of it, why _hadn’t_ he yet?

“I don’t know,” Dipper shifted, looking at his sister to see her just texting. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

“I think you’d look good in it,” she grinned, and Dipper averted his gaze with a doofy smirk. “Oh, shoot, I gotta get going. Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“O-Oh, yeah!” They waved goodbye and parted, Dipper returning to his sister’s side. “Sorry, Mabel.”

“Nah, it’s alright, Bro-bro,” she said, beaming. “I understand.” Before Dipper could ask, she grabbed him by his wrist and tugged him along. “Now, c’mon, they’re already there!”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill was what you could consider ‘impatient’ to a minor degree. Don’t get me wrong, he could wait for a really long time, but sometimes things just hit a certain cord with him that literally everything set him off. 

Hearing back from the Higher Power was just an example.

Of course, them being who they are and everything, would make it so they knew about Bill’s situation, right? They had to know that Bill was currently having a crisis due to the fact that he successfully scared away his soulmate to the point where said soulmate wouldn’t even go to sleep anymore, and even got a job during the night to avoid any possible encounters. 

Now, you may be asking: Bill, why don’t you just make him go to sleep, like you’ve done so many times in the past?

Well, he could’ve, before old Sixer made that disgusting black-magic laced beverage that kickstarted Pinetree’s brain so it was like he was awake, but not. Bill really can only make people fall asleep if they’re already tired, and, thanks to IQ’s potion, Dipper was never tired enough to pull him into unconsciousness. 

“So, Bill, why don’t you just invade Ford’s mind, since Dipper made him promise that he would sleep?” 

Bill wants to get on Dipper’s good side, doesn’t he? So making his great uncle, his _idol_ too paranoid to sleep at night would definitely not be the way to go, right? And that’s why he’s in such a predicament. He wants to talk to Pinetree, but he can’t do that unless Pinetree is asleep, and Pinetree is currently avoiding any possible chance to fall asleep.

You see the problem?

Bill had managed a week without any word from the Higher Power, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait. They did say that Plan B would launch if Bill got nowhere with Dipper in his dreams, so why was it taking so goshdarn long for them to reach out to him?! 

“This is annoying!” Bill hissed, throwing his arms up in exasperation, disrupting the book on his lap. “I’ve reread the same sentence three trillion times and I still can’t understand what it’s saying!” He sighed, leaning back, the book falling off his legs. “I can’t deal with this. I can’t get anything done like this.”

Lifting a hand, he snapped his fingers, bringing him and his chair to a totally new realm. The first thing he noticed was the octagonal figure looking at a box. The next thing he noticed was a head of black hair as he nearly got smacked in the face with raven wings. 

Before he could even blink, he was back in his home, the interdimensional messenger standing right across from him, looking in her bag.

“ _Mighty impatient one, aren’t you, Cipher?_ ” 

Bill crossed his arms. “As if I don’t have a reason.”

“ _I was just about to get to you, too,_ ” she admitted, handing him a letter. “ _The Higher Power--_ ”

“Finally,” Bill huffed as he grabbed her hand. The next time he blinked, they were there. 

“ _Here he is._ ”

No more words were spoken as the first one waved his hand, and then she was gone. “ ** _She’s right, you know. You are very impatient._** ”

“Hey, bucko,” Bill snapped, jabbing his finger at the ground. “You said you would summon me with Plan B if Pinetree didn’t accept me.”

“ ** _We were still working it out,_** ” the middle one said, but Bill let out a ‘pahfutp’ noise, flailing his hands at them.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s done now though, isn’t it?”

The middle one nodded, opening their hands. “ ** _Yes._** ”

With a bright light, something formed between its massive paws. Bill shielded his ~~sensitive~~ eye from it, and once the light faded, he looked back up at the shadows to see what ‘Plan B’ was.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“There. How about that one?”

Dipper would be lying if he said he wasn’t having fun. Maybe it was just the fact that Mabel was his twin and thus he, too, found sitting inside Gravity Malls scoping out what Candy, Grenda, and his beloved sister consider ‘absolute hotties’ actually mildly entertaining.

“Oh, dude, heck yeah! Mabel, check it out!” Grenda roughly elbowed his sister, motioning over to the teenager who was eyeing a mug of sorts.

“Yeah! Good eye, Dipper,” she nudged her brother before clearing her throat, fixing her hair, and stepping off the seat. And the she stopped. “Dipper, no way. That’s the same kid from the grocery store!”

“What?” Candy and Grenda both looked over at him from their shoulders. Overall, the girls hadn’t changed much. Grenda was still built and Candy was still small, but her accent had become more American over the years. 

“Yeah, we saw him a week or so ago in the grocery store while shopping.” She suddenly squealed and pushed Dipper. “You should go talk to him! He might recognize me!”

“Why me?” Dipper asked, subconsciously already standing. 

“Just go up and casually start looking at the stuff around him,” Candy suggested.

“Get a better look at him, see if he’s actually cute. Maybe bump into him and see what he says. We need to know if he’s cute and nice!” Grenda ordered, and Dipper sighed, but nodded. 

“You guys are crazy.”

They squealed as Dipper began to walk to the section he was in. He slid up beside him as casual as he could, looking at a figuring with mock interest. It was a gnome with a deep gray beard and curly locks peeking out from under it’s hat. The ever-burning question of what was under a gnome’s hat rose before he could stop it, knowing that it was impossible to find out. 

“Gnomes are pretty cool, huh?”

Dipper jumped at the voice and look at the voice in confusion. Smiling warmly at him was a teen with brunet hair and piercing blue eyes, wearing a black shirt under an open black hoodie and dark blue jeans. Dipper looked at the gnome in his hands and shrugged, putting it back. “I don’t know. They’re kinda… mean, actually.”

He laughed, putting back the eagle he was staring at. “Y’know, I wouldn’t doubt it. They honestly terrify me.”

Dipper thought back to the first time he’d heard about gnomes and chuckled. “Yeah, I can see why.”

The boy continued to smile at him, before offering Dipper a hand. “I’m Trevor, by the way.”

Dipper took it hesitantly, shaking it a few times. “Dipper.”

“Dipper?” Trevor asked with the hint of a teasing smile. “Is that your real name?”

He shrugged, running his fingers over the wings of a griffin. “Just a nickname.”

“Well, what’s your real one?”

Dipper picked up the griffin and looked on the bottom, wincing at the price. Who would pay $36 for a griffin? He put it back in disinterest. “It really doesn’t matter. Everybody around here knows me only as Dipper, so why bother changing it?”

Trevor nodded, crossing his arms thoughtfully, leaning on his right leg. “I get it. Dipper... What’d you do to earn that? Double-dip once and get cursed for life?”

Dipper snorted, pressing his knuckle to his nose shortly after as he looked away. “Oh, no, nothing like that. It’s actually…” Dipper sighed, pushing up his bangs. “Something a bit more embarrassing.”

“Dude, no way,” Trevor gasped, grazing his fingers over the birthmark. “You have a birthmark of the Big Dipper; that’s freakin’ epic!”

Dipper chuckled, letting his hair fall back over it. “I guess… it used to be super embarrassing back in the day, but I’ve grown to like it.”

“Why do you cover it?” Trevor put his hands in his pockets, looking towards Dipper’s table slightly. 

“Uh… I dunno. I guess it’s the way my hair sits.” Dipper watched as he pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling on it. “Uh--”

“Here. For your friends. Or for you,” Trevor winked, “if you want.”

Dipper flushed and took the paper, reading the number. “Oh, uh… thanks.”

“Text me, okay? I’d love to chat some more.”

Dipper turned his head to hide the fiery color it was becoming. “Ah… okay, maybe.” 

“Get back to them,” Trevor smiled, and Dipper almost let out a yelp as he slapped his ass. Dipper hurriedly scurried back to the group of girls, who were trying to contain their squealed behind fists. 

“Well?!” Mabel squeaked, and Dipper resumed his seat before showing them the paper. He winced, resisting an urge to peer over his shoulder to make sure Trevor didn’t hear. They all whipped out their phones and inputted the number. “Great, how many is that in total now?” 

They each stared at their phones. “One.”

“We’re making progress!”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill stared at the figure in front of him. It was giving off a slightly glow. “You’re joking, right?”

“ ** _Why the hell would we be joking?! Be lucky it looks so good,_** ” the first muttered, looking away.

“So what’s it, then? You want me to become a human?” Bill flew slightly around the human form. It was blonde; at least it’s bangs were. The sides and back of it were dark brown, but it oddly looked good. It was wearing a snazzy yellow brick-patterned twin-tailed suit with black sleeves, black pants, black dress shoes, and a yellow cape with an eye on it. A black bowtie sat on it’s neck, just above a white ‘V’-shaped white section in the middle of the suit, two black buttons leading down to the middle line of the suit overcoat. It had smooth skin, and a black eyepatch hidden under the swoop of it’s bangs. A black top hat floated above it’s head, just above the spot where the dark brown ended and the blonde began. It looked like a teenager designed their dream boy. It made Bill gag. 

He liked it.

“ ** _Yeah! See, all you have to do is fly into it, and you’ll be reborn!_** ” the third explained.

Bill blinked up at them. “What.”

“ ** _Cipher, you have realized that you are your own soul at this point, right?_** ” The first rolled their wrist. 

What. “Oh, yeah, of course,” Bill hummed, crossing his legs. “So, just fly into it?”

The third pointed down at it. “ ** _Go on; do it._** ”

Bill sighed, relaxing his body as he hovered close to the body. He didn’t really understand the science of it all, but decided it was best not to question the Higher Power as he continued towards it. A warmth enveloped his entire body, the glow from the body becoming brighter, blinding him. He closed his eye, feeling his form melt away.

And then he felt it.

Happiness, sadness, anger, fear, ecstasy… all at once, an explosion of emotions that pulsed out of his entire being, and then it was all… gone. Just the warmth of content. When he opened his eye next… 

“Whoa,” he muttered, turning his hands over. He didn’t notice the black gloves on his hands, either. He held his arms out to his sides, looking over his body as best he could. “This is… weird.”

“ ** _Do you like it?_** ” a voice boomed directly above him, and he turned around in the empty space around him, leaning back slightly. At least he could still float. Maybe it was the fact that there was literally no gravity in the realm. Still, he pulled himself to a stop to stare up at them. 

“Surprisingly,” Bill looked over his body again, pulling his knees up slightly as he tried to examine himself. He reached down to prod as his fleshy shins. Mmm.. squishy. “Yeah, I do. Thank you.”

“ ** _You must be on your way now._** ” The middle opened their paws to reveal a bright portal. 

“Wait, now? I can’t… say goodbye to anybody?” He peered over his shoulder (god that feels weird) at the portals to other dimensions.

“ ** _Not now._** ”

“ ** _We would have assumed you to say goodbye to others,_** ” the third looked at the other two before shrugging. “ ** _Too late, I suppose._** ”

“ ** _You’ll see them again,_** ” the middle released the portal down to him, and Bill hovered back a bit more to look at it without getting sucked it. The scenery of a familiar forest, tall pines and tufts of grass… birds chirping… “ ** _Ready?_** ”

Bill huffed, puffing out his chest. “I’m ready.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper almost forgot it was Friday. He had Saturday and Sunday off, thank Christ. 

“Great uncle Ford, I’m not sure how much longer I can stay awake. I’m just going to go to sleep tonight, okay?”

The older man nodded, setting down his glass of water. “That’s fine, Dipper. We won’t use Project Mentem tonight, either.”

“Thank you,” Dipper said, smiling, before standing up and pushing in his chair. “I’m probably going to turn in right now. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Ford looked at the clock, reading 6:58. “Alright, Dipper. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, great uncle Ford,” Dipper grinned at him before heading out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his and Mabel’s joint room. She was out having another pow-wow with Candy and Grenda, most likely just spending the whole night talking to Trevor.

Speaking of… 

Dipper pulled out his phone, grabbing his charger off the floor and plugging it into the outlet, then into his phone. The screen lit up with 45%, a new message from Mabel, and a few extra notifications from social media apps. He unlocked his phone and cleared all notifications before pulling open his messenger app, entering the number, and typing a message.

**Message to: Trevor**  
_ >Hey, Trevor. This is Dipper, from the gift shop in Gravity Malls?_

Dipper wasn’t really expecting a response as he tugged open his nightstand drawer, pulling out his sketchbook, using the sunlight from the triangular window to see what he was doing. Inside the book had various sketches of the creatures he’d seen and/or remembered seeing in Journal #3. He didn’t have as much time to memorize the pages of Journals #1 and #2, but he sure as hell tried. He wished he could’ve persuaded Ford to give them to him instead of throwing them down the Bottomless Pit (he’d be lying if he didn’t say he kept an eye on it in case the pit threw a Journal up, but it never did), but he didn’t want to seem… I dunno, weird? Nevertheless, Ford probably wouldn’t’ve given them to him, with was fair. They were his to do with as he pleased. 

Dipper clicked his pen a few times when the vibration of his phone caused him to jump. He clicked it again to make sure the point was in, before putting it down and grabbing his device.

**Message from: Trevor**  
_ >Hey, Dipper! I was wondering when u were gonna text me lol ur sister and her friends have been blowing my phone up all night._

**Message to: Trevor**  
_ >Oh, yeah, sorry about that haha they’re pretty… crazy._

**Message from: Trevor**  
_ >That’s a bit of an understatement lmao_  
_ >>Anyway, how’s ur night going? Good, I hope_

**Message to: Trevor**  
_ >Yeah, it’s going alright. I’m planning on turning in soon, though._

**Message from: Trevor**  
_ >To sleep? Wow, lame lol_

**Message to: Trevor**  
_ >Perks of working the graveyard shift all week and running on five cups of coffee a day._

**Message from: Trevor**  
_ >Wait, so u don’t get any sleep at all? Kudos to u, man._

**Message to: Trevor**  
_ >Not really my choice, but it makes life easier if I just… don’t._

**Message from: Trevor**  
_ >I hope u get some good sleep then lol_

**Message to: Trevor**  
_ >Thanks._

Switching his phone to silent, Dipper put it down, closed his book and put it back, relaxing back into the pillows. The comfort of his bed easily allowed him to fall asleep, his eyelids falling shut before he could even realize he was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~How many of you are gonna start shipping Trevip?~~
> 
> I don’t know how often Wendy will pop into the story, but probably some other time from now. 
> 
> Probably.
> 
> Very bad at descriptions; wanna see what the original design Human!Bill looks like? Look up ‘Human Bill Cipher Life-Writer’ and there ya go.
> 
> ( ~~Yes, that means Bill’s outfit plans on changing~~ )
> 
> Next chapter is gonna be fun <3


	8. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ford gets tackled by a blond kid who then proceeds to try to break into the Mystery Shack, Dipper busts his head open, goes shopping, and gets called gay while said blond kiddo contemplates how much he would love to see a squirrel ~~or gnome~~ die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~it's me.~~

The portal was dark. Which was mildly surprising, due to the fact it looked like a forest from the other side before he entered.

Bill floated in the middle of it all, one knee bent behind him with the other extended loosely down below him, his body bobbing as if he were in a sea. Being poetic, you could say he was in a sea of darkness, but Bill wasn’t here for poetry. His shoulders were back, and he looked around in confusion. He didn’t want to speak; maybe it was the suffocating feeling the dark scene around him gave him, or maybe he was having an existential crisis in thinking that if nobody was around to hear him talk, did he really say anything at all?

...Moving on.

Bill spun slightly, making sure to examine as much as he could of the darkness around him when something illuminated behind him, just barely a pinpoint of light. It still caught his attention, making him turn around and kick towards it, his body floating forward as the light grew brighter and brighter until it enveloped him entirely, filling his body with the familiar warmth of the sun.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The forest was peaceful, with birds singing the song of the dawn and deer out to graze on the morning dew-frosted blades of grass. It was a serene, beautiful morning, one that Ford could actually appreciate instead of running past it all, disturbing the nature by trying to hold on to the bit of youth he had left. However, much to his disappointment, he had no time to enjoy it all, as he was on a mission.

Holding onto the small pouches full of different materials, Ford knelt before the statue of the demon he once held so high over three decades ago, pulling the bags off his belt. He opened each one, revealing a wad of unicorn hair and piles of moonstone and mercury, respectfully. He sighed, looking up at the stone triangle in contempt. It was annoying, he thought as he grabbed a bit of each, standing up and taking a step towards it, draping the unicorn hair on each of his fingers and down his wrist, twirling around his top hat base and putting a few strands in his eye as well. He slipped a few in his brick lines, just to be sure, before moving onto the mercury and moonstone. He put some of the minerals where he placed the unicorn hair, on some of his fingers and around his top hat, placing a bit of each in his eye before moving to secure it around the base of the whole statue, as well as more unicorn. Eventually, he stood back and admired his handiwork with a smile. 

“That should--”

His words died with a gasp as a crack suddenly exploded across Bill’s eye, knocking some of the unicorn hair and stones off it’s kelter. 

“No, no, no, no…” Ford took a step towards it in confusion as a small sliver of light began to seep out of the crack. He stopped, but instantly set into motion, pulling a roll of duct tape (which he conveniently carries around) out of his coat pocket, already pulling some off. Right as he went to slam the piece on the crack, the light exploded outwards, physically knocking Ford back. At least, he thought it was the blast. Only when he heard a soft groan from above him was when he realized that the eruption from the statue wasn’t the only thing that sent him flying. 

When Ford opened his eyes, he was met with what seemed like an angel, the being’s pale skin glowing in the morning light, the rays reflecting off his yellow hair and outfit; a blinding sight, but only when the man on top of him began to dim down was when Ford realized that he was literally sparkling and it wasn’t just the sunlight.

What a trip.

The man held a gloved hand to his head as he let out a breath from his chest, blinking his eye open. The other was covered by a black eyepatch. “Ughh… where…” the man looked around slightly before looking down at Ford, who didn’t realize he was holding his breath. This man… was oddly beautiful. And yet… he looked somewhat familiar… 

“Oh, hey, IQ.”

And… that ruined it.

The nickname, the voice, the outfit… it all crashed upon Ford in an instant, and he immediately kicked the assaulting teenager off of him, getting to his feet all in one motion. He bent his knees, digging his heels into the dirt and reaching out, fingers clawing into the soot as he slowed himself down with the friction of Earth. “Wow, way to be a mood killer there, IQ,” he said with a beaming smile, revealing perfectly white teeth. If Ford would’ve guessed how he looked human, it would _not_ be this.

“Bill Cipher… how did you obtain that form?!” Ford snapped, reaching for the gun he usually had with him when he went into the forest.

“Oh, no way that would interest you, old man,” Bill waved his hand dismissively, folding his fingers and pulling his arms above his head, popping his shoulders and back. “Oh, jeez; this body is going to take some getting used to.”

“Answer the question!” Ford snapped, and Bill sighed, slinking his way towards him.

“Listen, Fordsy, don’t get me wrong, I would really like to sit here and chat with an old friend-- literally, old-- but I have somebody to see.” Bill tried to walk past him but Ford reached out and elbowed him in the face, knocking Bill back with a grunt. 

“Like hell you do; I will _not_ let you near my family!”

Bill rubbed the cheek Ford hit with a pout ( ~~god-fucking-dammit; now that he had an actual face, he was extra cute~~ ). “You’re so rude, Sixer.”

“Are you saying I don’t have a reason?” Ford snarled and Bill held up his hands. 

“No, not at all,” Bill sighed, crossing his arms. “I’m just saying that you are needlessly rude. I can’t do anything to harm you. Look.” He held his hand out, pointing his finger at Ford while poising his thumb and middle finger to snap. Ford visibly flinched, but knew that nothing he did would stop Bill right then. Not even drawing his weapon. 

Bill’s fingers clicked, his finger slightly twitching from the force of his other fingers jerking around it, but other than that… nothing. Ford stared at him, waiting for something but it was a lost cause. Bill lowered his hand and shrugged, bending his elbows and facing his palms to the sky. “Like I said, I can’t do anything. This body is absolutely--”

Bill froze as blue flames erupted from his palms. That was the last straw. Ford drew his gun and pointed it at Bill, assuming his defensive battle stance. “‘Powerless’, right?”

“Well, I would’ve assumed...” Bill looked at his hands in confusion. The Higher Power let him keep his powers? Well, that would make sense, being as his old form was his soul and he had them. He’d have to try hard to make sure that they didn’t come out to harm anyone.

Flexing his fingers into his palm, the fire snuffed out under his fingertips, leaving smoke trails from his hands, drifting towards the sky. 

The sound of Ford’s gun powering on caught Bill’s attention, and he looked up into the barrel of his weapon in shock.

“Stay away from my family.”

And with that, Ford shoved his gun back in its holster, spun on his heel, and stormed back through the forest towards the shack, leaving Bill confused and, for once in his life, scared of what dangers lurked in the woods of Gravity Falls.

~

After triple-checking the barrier surrounding the shack, Ford finally retired into the kitchen where he had a perfect view of the path to the Bill statue to have a cup of coffee, just to wake him up a little bit more. Dipper was still asleep, which made sense, being as he hadn’t slept in so long. Ford estimated a few more hours before he begrudgingly got up to start the day. 

Ford looked out the window to scan the treeline when he saw it: a man in a yellow outfit sauntering up towards the gift shop’s door, stopping a few feet before the barrier. Ford took a sip of his coffee, studying his movements. Would Bill actually attempt to come in, despite knowing the barrier is still up and running? 

Bill took a few more steps, placing the toe of his shoe on the barrier line and pausing. Ford stared at it in confusion. Why wasn’t it--

The moment Bill tried to walk over it, the purple sphere activated, shooting Bill literally fifty feet away, his body flying through the air before crashing into a bush nearby. Ford paused before he snorted and nearly choked on his drink, holding his hand to his mouth as he laughed. He had to set his mug down as to not spill it as his shoulders shook with hysterics.

“Hey, great uncle Ford. What’s so funny?” Dipper asked, taking the spot across from Ford, in which he responded waving his hand in dismissal, coughing a bit from the coffee being sucked into his lungs. 

“Don’t worry about it, Dipper. Just saw something outside.”

Dipper raised an eyebrow, standing up to look outside before Ford could stop him. Luckily Bill had moved while he was laughing, so not even his legs were out of the bush anymore. Part of Ford wondered where he went, but he shook the thought away, taking another sip of his drink. Dipper pulled a face, causing Ford’s attention to return to him. “What is it?”

“I… didn’t dream about Bill.”

Ford paused, looking outside. “...I see.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

Ford shrugged. “I’d believe so.”

“It felt… wrong. Different. After spending nearly a month, if not more, with him, sleeping without him bothering me was just… weird. It’s not like I want him to come back, mind you,” Dipper quickly covered when Ford gave him a confused look, “it was actually a relief.”

Ford nodded, his gaze falling back to the window, his hand grazing his belt. He left his ingredients outside, like a moron. Then again, he had been distracted by Bill’s sudden appearance as a _human_.

Dipper looked at his relative as Ford stood up, heading towards the door, grabbing his coat. Dipper was hot on his heels, shutting the Mystery Shack door before trailing after him. “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot something.”

Dipper followed his uncle down the path towards the statue, stopping only when they got to the clearing, revealing the statue…

With a huge crack in it. 

“Great uncle Ford…?” Dipper approached him slowly, watching as he kneeled down to pick up small pouches. He reattached them back to his belt before grabbing a dusty roll of duct tape, ripping off the part that was sticky and smacking most the dirt off. “What… happened to the statue…?”

Ford turned around, grabbing Dipper’s wrist and tugging him back the way they came. “We’ll talk about it at the shack.”

Dipper swallowed, risking a look over his shoulder. It was a mistake, he realized, as his foot caught on a root, sending him to the ground. Ford let go of his wrist, stopping and reaching down, taking Dipper’s hoodie in his fist and yanking him off the forest floor. Dipper let out a groan as he held a hand to his face, but Ford spent no time making sure his nephew was okay, rather dragging him into the safety of the Mystery Shack. 

Once inside, Ford sat Dipper down, reaching into the fridge to grab him a cold Pitt Cola to hold on his face, walking back and handing it to him as he sat down. He didn’t want to lie to the teen, but knew it was the only way until he figured out if Bill would leave them alone or not. He pulled off the pouches, setting them down before retreating into the basement to retrieve something he’d been working on for the week Dipper was at work.

When Ford came back and set a pendant on the table, Dipper gave him a confused look. “A… necklace?”

“Not just any necklace, Dipper,” Ford said as he popped it open, taking a bit of unicorn hair, and two of each stone and putting them in it, clicking it back closed. They both watched as it began to glow a faint purple. “It’s a portable barrier, to defend yourself from Bill.”

Dipper picked it up, staring at it in awe. “Wow… wait, why would I need this?” Dipper asked, looking up at him as Ford grimaced.

“Just extra precautions,” Ford answered when a gruff voice spoke up behind him.

“What’re you two nerds up to?” Both looked up at Stanley, who walked in without looking at them, grabbing the coffee pot and pouring himself a glass. Ford turned to look at his twin as Stan turned around, leaning on the counter, going for a sip of his drink when he suddenly stopped, eyes widening before he snorted. “Whoa, kid, what happened to your face?”

Ford turned to Dipper, whose forehead was beginning to bleed due to the impact from the forest floor. He must’ve hit it pretty hard.

“Are you alright? Feel dizzy?” Ford pressed his fingers near the wound, noticing Dipper’s flinch. 

“No, I feel fine… generally. Y’know, other than the bleeding head and possible concussion,” Dipper joked as Ford took the Pitt from Dipper’s hands, pressing the cold side next to the cut. 

“Stanley, can you get me a towelette and a Band-Aid, please?” Ford peered over his shoulder to see Stan walking away, sipping his mug.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on it, Sixer.”

Ford nodded appreciatively his way before turning back to his nephew, who had his eyes on his cell phone, tapping the screen fervently with his thumbs. He didn’t want to pry into the teen’s life, so he stuck to just keeping the cold drink next to Dipper’s wound. 

“Hey, uhm…” Ford jumped at his nephew’s voice, looking at him to make accidental eye contact.

“Is your forehead getting too cold?”

“Well, no, it’s just… uhm…” He took a deep breath through his nose and looked back at his phone. “Nevermind.”

“Now, Dipper, don’t be afraid to talk to me about anything, okay?” Ford set the soda down and grabbed his nephew by the shoulders, tearing his attention from the teen back up to his elder. 

“Uh… y-yeah. Okay.” Dipper smiled up at him before immediately looking back down at his phone, tapping away.

“Hey, Poindexter, catch.”

Ford turned slightly just in time to witness Stan underhanding a small baggy his way. Luckily for him, his reflexes were incredible, so he caught it with ease and began to pull the items he requested out of the bag.

“Now, Dipper, this might sting.”

“Mm-hmm,” was the only response the older man got as he opened the antiseptic wipe and smeared it onto Dipper’s wound. The teen jumped, winced, and hissed in pain, clenching his jaw before closing his eyes to take it in silence. After cleansing the wound appropriately, Ford slapped the Band-Aid onto Dipper’s forehead and stepped back.

“There you go. It should heal just fine.”

“Thank you, great uncle Ford, and Grunkle Stan,” he passed a smile back to Ford’s twin, who was looking in the fridge. 

“Sure thing, kiddo. Hey, tell your sister to pick up some milk, would’ja?”

“We just went shopping?” Dipper peered over his relative’s shoulder to see for himself while Ford passed a worried glance back outside, expecting to see the yellow-clad man again, but was relieved to see nothing but the scenery. 

“Well, did you buy milk?”

“I don’t remember--”

“Obviously not, so get going.” Stan shut the fridge door before moving to head to the living room, leaving them alone again.

“What?”

“If you won’t tell your sister to pick it up, go get it yourself.”

Dipper huffed, but began towards the back door anyway. “Fine, alright.” 

Ford watched as he looped the pendant over his head, allowing it to rest on his chest as he stepped into the Oregon air.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t like Dipper was complaining when it came to going outside when all he wanted to do was sleep; in fact, he had to go outside eventually anyway for a reason much worse than to buy milk.

To Dipper’s surprise, he woke up to a message from Trevor asking him if he wanted to do something today. At first, Dipper was a little hesitant, but after talking to him (and tripping so he cracked open his head) for a bit, he decided he would go out with him.

Not in any way that you’re thinking, you nut; just as friends. To the arcade. To play games. As friends. 

So he had that to look forward to.

Dipper fondled the necklace in his palm as he walked towards the milk section, his mind racing with questions and worries about Trevor and the arcade and why Ford thought it was necessary to equip him with a portable ‘Bill-Proof’ barrier as if Bill found a way to come back, despite him being ‘banished’. 

Then again, it wouldn’t be _impossible_ being as the damn flying Dorito had inhabited his dreams for like, what, a month? 

If Dipper were texting, he would mash on his keyboard just to emphasize how confused he was.

( ~~alksjdaihgiosndlkasnd~~ ) 

Clearing his head, Dipper pulled open the door and grabbed a carton of milk, shutting the door with a sigh. Out of the corner of his eye, something ~~yellow~~ moved, attracting his attention to somebody ~~wearing yellow~~ walking into another aisle. Letting out a breath, Dipper turned to head back towards the registers, having what he needed. It felt a little weird being in his workplace in his off-time, but if he needed to get milk, he couldn’t complain. 

“Hey, Dipper! How are you enjoying your time off?” One of his coworkers, Ben, asked with a cheery smile as he rung up the object, watching as Dipper pulled into his wallet and grabbed the appropriate amount.

“It’s alright. Feels nice to finally sleep,” he joked, and Ben laughed.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re an insomniac. You look like you got some decent rest in, so that’s good.”

“Yeah,” Dipper agreed, taking his receipt and change with a smile. “See you around.”

“You too!”

Dipper sighed, holding the bag to his side as he walked out of the store, beginning his walk home.

When he heard footsteps behind him, at first he brushed it off as another person heading home, but that’s when he realized he was wrong and that he should probably be worried.

Dipper hadn’t even left the parking lot yet when he let out a yelp of surprise as his necklace exploded in a ball of purple, sending air rushing around him and disrupting his hair and clothes with the force, nearly knocking the milk from his grip. It took a few minutes for the barrier to fade, leaving him (and many bystanders) confused as to what set it off. The only thing that would get such a reaction would be from--

Dipper bit his lip, immediately stepping into a fast-walk as he attempted to get as far away from the store as possible, wanting nothing more than to be home, safe and sound. 

~

“Great uncle Ford, my necklace exploded!” 

Right as Dipper round the corner to the kitchen, he nearly ran straight into a red-wearing chest when polydactyl hands landed on his shoulders hard enough to nearly be painful and send him to the floor.

“What?!” Ford nearly screamed as Dipper just about dropped the milk, grateful when Ford let him go enough to put the milk away.

“I don’t know; I was leaving the store and all of a sudden, the pendant just erupted in a ball of purple, completely encasing me in a three-foot radius barrier. D-Does that--”

“I hope not,” Ford interrupted, massaging the bridge of his nose under his glasses in exasperation. “I pray not.”

“Great uncle Ford, is there something you’re not telling me? You hooked me up with this thing in the first place, so you knew something like this was going to happen. Can Bi-- Can he take over your mind, even without a deal?” Ford watched as his nephew’s face paled as he sucked in a breath. “Oh, god, what if he realized that we never really called our deal off and uses me as a puppet again?”

“That won’t happen, not with this.” Ford flicked the pendent before leaning back and folding his arms behind him. “Dipper, I told you there would be no more secrets between us. I was just being cautious, considering Bill’s last warning before he disappeared again.”

Dipper gnawed the inside of his cheek, not really sure if he should believe Ford or not. He finally settled on agreeing with it just so he wasn’t there all day trying to pry it out of him. “Okay. Thank you, then.”

“Anytime, Dipper.”

“I’m _home!_ ” a familiar voice sang from the door as Mabel waltzed into the kitchen, hands on her hips. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Ford and Dipper said, which earned a skeptical look.

“Well, okay. I’m going to go take a shower because I’m _gross_.”

As Mabel began up the stairs, something clicked in Dipper’s mind, causing him to call after his sister and bound up the stairs after her.

“Mabel, wait! Hold up! I need to ask you something!”

“Yeah, bro-bro?” Mabel bat her eyelashes at her twin in interest. “What is it?”

“Mabel, I’m-- what-- I’m going on a-- what would you say if I told you I was going out with Trevor from the mall?”

Mabel froze, looking at Dipper with an incredulous look before bursting into a smile and bringing her brother into a surprise hug. “I’d be happy for you! To be honest, I kind of suspected you were gay. Good on you for finding somebody, Dip!”

Dipper stopped, retracing his steps to find out where Mabel got that idea before realizing his mistake. “No! Mabel, I didn’t mean it like tha-- wait, you think I’m _gay_?!”

Mabel shrugged, holding onto the bathroom door as she rubbed her eyes. “Yeah? I mean, aren’t you if you’re going out with--”

“I meant as friends! As in we’re going to hang out! Not… dating!”

“Oooohhhh…” Mabel drawled as she looked at the floor in thought. “Well, that’s cool too! But don’t be ashamed if you are gay, bro-bro. I wouldn’t care!”

Before Dipper could respond, the door was shut in his face, leaving him to his thoughts and the fear that Mabel’s enthusiasm leaked downstairs to Ford’s ears. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill should have expected Ford to pull something like that. And yet he didn’t. He didn’t even think about it until it happened. 

He could still feel the tingly sensation of the barrier’s power sparking through his veins after he attempted to grab Dipper. At first, he wasn’t really sure if it was him or not; he looked different in real life than in dreams, and through human eyes rather than his old omnipotent one. And it wasn’t like he had his signature hat or anything anymore; which, naturally, Bill should have expected being as Dipper didn’t have it in his dream. Of course, he thought it was because it was a dream, i.e. Dipper would be sleeping _without_ his hat, but if his head got too big then naturally he wouldn’t own one anymore.

~~Maybe he should buy him a new one, just so he could spy him in a crowd.~~

Bill pulled his legs to his chest as he leaned back against the tree, letting out a breath as a squirrel scurried by. Part of him wanted to reach out and squeeze it with magic ‘til it’s eyes popped out and it began to vomit blood, but what good would that do? Something so small; he should wait until a deer or a bear came scampering along. Maybe a gnome. Nobody liked gnomes. Unless it was that one gnome; Goldilocks or Smelliluck or Butts-n-loft-- something like that. Everybody liked that gnome; from this dimension or not.

Eh, what did it matter, anyway? Bill wasn’t a gnome. 

He reached down and scooped up a stone, running his finger over the middle of it, feeling it out. It was smooth, overall, with white freckles running through it and darker spots mixed between. Bill pulled his arms back and chucked it as hard as he could, listening as it smacked against a tree trunk and fell back to the dirt. Being a human sucked. There was nothing to do! 

Sighing, he stood up and dusted off his ass, attempting to get any dirt off his suit before deciding to use his magic and get it off that way. Hoping it worked, Bill turned back to the town and sulked his way back in, checking around at some of the people nearby. There wasn’t anything too special about the citizens of Gravity Falls; they were all stupid meatbags like the rest of this world. 

Bill, surprisingly, actually missed his friends from the Nightmare Realm. He kinda wondered what they were doing, but it probably didn’t matter. They were all either partying, beating each other to the death, or just living lives as normal. He doubted that last option, but it was a possibility. 

He wondered if anybody was leading them, or if they were all trained enough to not fight against Bill, no matter if he was there or not.

Unlikely.

Bill knocked the toe of his shoes against the sidewalk, noticing the lack of the shine on them. He felt like he needed a new outfit, like this one would get too dirty and ruin the point of looking fancy.

He peered around and startled at a familiar face sitting on a nearby fence, leaning back with her ankle on her knee as she stared up to the sky with a lazy expression, clearly in thought.

Eh, probably not that important.

He fixed his bowtie and sauntered up to her, leaning down slightly with his arms folded behind his back. “Excuse me, miss?”

The woman jumped, peering up at him as he smiled at her in what he hoped was a kind way. He still didn’t know how faces worked, though he tried not to be too exaggerating in his motions. “Yes?”

“Do you know where I could buy some new clothing? I’m tired of my closet.”

“Oh, uh… yeah, sure. There’s a mall, down that way. Gravity Malls?” She pointed down the street. “Just head that way. It’s a big building; can’t miss it.”

“Ah, okay. Thank you very much,” Bill did a little bow and continued on, resisting the urge to give her another grin despite really wanting to. He even refrained from calling her ‘Red’; score for Bill! 

The moment he walked into the mall, full of the scent of sweat and money, Bill realized that he had magic and could just make a new outfit.

Casually, the prior dream demon slid into the nearest male’s bathroom and pushed open each stall, just in case. Keeping an ear open to the door, Bill closed his eyes and imagined an outfit, thinking about what he’s seen since he’s been here. The only things that came directly to mind were flannels, turtlenecks, and hoodies. With his mind full of these clothing options, Bill didn’t focus on any of them as he pointed to himself and allowed his powers to do it’s thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aayy happy new year and stuff! Sorry for the _super_ late upload; I’ve been having such a lack of motivation and creativity and then I got sick and it’s just been a lot of bad. 
> 
> Great way to start the new year, right? <3


	9. Did You Miss Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper goes on a date and Ford and Bill have a friendly chat back in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> admit it, you missed me

“Okay, guys, I’m going out!”

“Be safe, Dipper!”

“Buy some condoms on your way!”

“Grunkle St _an!!!_ ”

The harsh laugh of the older man boiled Dipper’s blood as he opened the Mystery Shack’s door, stepping out. 

“Have fun, Dip-Dop!”

Dipper smiled at Mabel from her spot from the stairs, and he waved at her before stepping out and shutting the door, tucking his pendant under his shirt. Trevor agreed to meet Dipper at Greasy’s, claiming it was his favorite place to hang out (other than the arcade but that’s only normal) in all of Gravity Falls. Which wasn’t surprising; paired with good food and hilarious customers who pretty much aimed to make everybody in the diner laugh, Greasy’s was the greatest place to spend your time. 

Part of Dipper wondered if Trevor thought this was a date, but another part of him reasoned that it was stupid to think that, and that the meeting was just as friends. 

Nevertheless, Dipper still felt nervous the moment he stepped through the diner doors. 

“Well, hello, Dipper!” Lazy Susan greeted from her spot at the counter, straightening the moment she saw him. A few of the men sitting on stools turned and gave him big, friendly smiles, also saying their own greetings. 

“Hi, Susan,” Dipper greeted, waving slightly, his gaze flicking over to one of the booths when he saw movement. Trevor was getting up, signaling him over to where he was seated.

“How’s Stanley?” she asked as Dipper moved towards his friend, pausing to assess the question.

“He’s… Stanley.”

Susan laughed at that. “He needs to get out more; live a little!”

“I think he’s had enough of that when he went on vacation,” Dipper joked, passing a smile to Trevor, who had sat down again. Even though Stan had actually retired, it made more sense to consider it a vacation, due to the fact that he’s, well… running the Mystery Shack again. Even if just for the summer.

In a way, being in Gravity Falls _is_ Stan’s vacation, away from the anomalies he and Ford were out searching for.

Dipper made a mental note to ask his great uncle’s about what they’d seen, as no amount of postcards would be able to capture it all. 

“I guess that’s true.” Susan shrugged. “I’ll be right over to get your orders, boys.”

“Thank you,” Dipper and Trevor said at the same time as Dipper slid into the booth across from his companion, giving him a shy smile. “Sorry about that. Old friend.”

“Literally,” Trevor joked, eyeing the counter to make sure Susan was out of earshot when he muttered that. “Anyway, glad you could make it! I was worried you’d flake on me.”

“No, never,” the brunet waved his hand in the air as if Trevor’s words were tangible. “I stick with my plans until they’re done.”

“Ahh,” Trevor purred, leaning on his palm and giving Dipper a playful look. “You the planning type?”

“Usually,” Dipper shrugged, looking at the menu on the table. 

“So what can I get you strapping young gentlemen today?” Susan’s voice cut through as she stepped up, pad ready to take their orders with her usual friendly grin.

“I’ll take a cheeseburger and a coke,” Trevor piped up, and, once Susan wrote that down, Dipper gave his order of a BLT and lemonade. “Gross,” Trevor chuckled as the older woman walked away, ready to give their order to the cook.

Dipper rolled his eyes and reached for his pocket instinctively, grabbing his phone. 

“Do you plan everything?”

Dipper laid his phone face down on the tabletop and scratched his forehead. “I used to. I planned a lot when I was younger. I kinda fell out of that, but it’s... almost habit to form a plan if something is stressing me out, of giving me anxiety. It’s like an automatic response.” Dipper shrugged. “That’s probably weird, huh?”

“No,” Trevor shook his head and began to play with the dog tags hanging loosely around his neck. “I think that’s really neat. I rarely ever plan; I’m more of a ‘go-with-the-flow’ kinda guy.”

Dipper suppressed a shudder; he wouldn’t be able to just throw himself blindly into the hands of fate. He needed to make sure he had everything under control; that nothing could go amiss. Maybe a tense lifestyle, but it was what Dipper was used to. 

“Here you are,” Susan cooed as she placed the large tray down and deposited their food. “Tell Stanley ‘hello’ for me,” she beamed down at Dipper, and he nodded, taking one of the straws off the table.

“I will. Thank you.”

Susan nodded and walked away, leaving Dipper and Trevor alone for the next couple of minutes while they ate and got to know each other. The more time that passed, and the more questions that were asked, made Dipper really wonder if Trevor considered this a date, and this time the little voice didn’t pipe up in objection.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Show yourself, Cipher!”

The shout caused a few birds to flutter away, but Ford couldn’t muster up the nerve to care. He was a man on a mission; this damn demon incarnate had come within centimeters of his nephew and he was _not_ having it. 

“Well, well, well,” a familiar voice sang out playfully, surrounding Ford in a bubble of his shrill voice. “Demanding me to come back to you, eh? Nothing new there.”

“Shut up and face me, you scalene--”

“Language, Fordsy.” The bush rattled as the not-so-familiar face stepped out, brushing himself off with a grin.

Ford’s gaze flicked up and down his frame, frowning. “Really?”

“What?” Bill did a little spin, turning back to face the hard glare of his old colleague. “Not impressed?”

“No.”

Bill was no longer wearing his yellow suit, which, in a way, surprised Ford. He never really imagined that Bill would actually change his outfit on his own accord, but he’s been wrong about a lot of things involving the triangular demon in the past. Instead, he was wearing a yellow pullover hoodie that hugged his figure in a way that Ford regretted noticing. A quick glance at his legs would leave you to believe that he was still wearing the dress pants that went with his suit, but another stare would tell you that he swapped those out, too, for some simple black skinny jeans. Rather than boots, a pair of black and white high-top converse shoes were on his feet, bringing the outfit to a close. 

“You’re staring.”

Ford tore his gaze away to sneer at a tree, and Bill tittered from his spot nearby. 

“I mean, not that I was complaining.”

“Shut up.”

Bill giggled, sliding his hands into his hoodie pockets. “So, I doubt you simply called me out here to check me out. What do you need, old man?”

Oh, what _didn’t_ Ford need right then? He couldn’t decide between ‘You to spontaneously combust out of existence’ or ‘You to stay the hell away from my family before I literally contact my old witch friend and find a way to ban you from this realm because I swear to God I will’. 

He finally settled with a tame mixture of the two.

“I need you to leave.”

Bill let out a snort, one that actually sounded like it hurt, and pulled out one of his hands to wipe at the corner of his only eye. This brought Ford’s attention back to the eyepatch. It was kinda weird for him to get a brand new body and already not have both his eyes, but it did kind of make sense. That was what he was used to, after all. It’d take some time to master blinking with both eyes, so it’s better for him to only have one so he wasn’t obvious to, say, Ford, Mabel, or Dipper. Not like the yellow, the one eye, and the shrill voice wasn’t a telltale sign, but whatever. “That’s a unique request, Fordsy; one I’ve _never_ heard you say before. However, I sincerely doubt that you actually want that. There’s a part of you that’s curious. You’re a hands-on learner, Stanford Pines; I know this through _experience_ \-- and you want to learn _everything_ about me.”

Ford flushed at the obvious point Bill was trying to get across, setting his jaw and glaring hard at the demon’s figure and the damn smirk that was spread across his face. “I already know enough about you to know that you don’t belong here. You were banished once; can’t you stay away?” 

Bill shook his head, shrugged his shoulders as he examined the nails of the hand he still had out. “No can do, Sixer. You-Know-Who sent me here on a mission-- a mission of _love_.”

Ford’s jaw slacked at Bill’s words. He didn’t want to believe them to be true, but there was a part of Ford that just _knew_ that Bill wouldn’t be lying about this.

“I thought you said you di--”

“I thought I didn’t, but turns out I do.”

Ford would be lying if he said he didn’t feel even the slightest pang of jealousy, underlapping the fleeting feeling of hope. He didn’t even know who it was yet, but it’s not like it mattered anyway.

“So why are you here?” Ford ground out, trying not to let his emotions show. If Bill knew how Ford was feeling, he didn’t let him know, once again shrugging indifferently as he sat on a tree stump, folding his legs in to sit criss-cross. 

“God, you’re really stupid, aren’t you?” Bill shook his head, a playful grin on his face. “Didn’t you ever learn algebra? Put two and two together and you’ll figure it out yourself.”

Ford folded his arms behind his back, his body moving on its own to pace a line in front of Bill’s sitting position. “I don’t understand… they’re here? In Gravity Falls?”

“Yes--”

“That would make sense, actually,” Ford said, his tone falling from confused to rational in an instant. “This is a beacon for weirdness, and you’re the weirdest of them all--”

“Thanks,” Bill retorted flatly.

“--so of _course_ your perfect match would be somewhere around here. Wh-- Do you know who they are?” Ford stopped in front of Bill again, shifting on his feet slightly in mild anxiousness that he knew was beginning to bleed through. There was no way he could keep a calm and professional facade when a topic that made him this giddy came up in conversation. 

“Yep. Not like I want it to be them, but it’s who I’m stuck with, I suppose,” Bill sighed, leaning back slightly. “We can’t choose who we’re stuck with.”

Ford let out a humorless chuckle. “Y’know, at least be happy you know who yours is.”

“Not my fault you’re still in denial.”

Ford furrowed his brow and looked away. “It doesn’t make sense. Wouldn’t Dipper’s be M-- You know what, nevermind.” Ford held up his hands in defeat and sighed, beginning to pace again. 

“Can’t be,” Bill stated simply, but before Ford could storm off on a tangent, Bill continued with a statement that made Ford’s blood run cold, “because he’s mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am bACK FROM THE DEAD!!!! 
> 
> Total lack of motivation to do anYTHING I’M SO SORRY
> 
> School sucks butt and my main hobby of drawing has been kicked into overdrive with stress and the fact that I got a drawing tablet blESS
> 
> Anyway, I’m sorry this was kinda short, but if you’ve read anything of mine, you know I always like to end on an interesting note so ;)


	10. Winner of a Losing Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Pinetree distracted, Bill makes an unpredicted move. 
> 
> Also, what is up with this Trevor guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but eh. At least I updated! Hello! Merry Chrimsis and happy Hanaka

“Oh, my god.”

Trevor was practically in tears as Dipper took another sip from his lemonade, hoping he didn’t choke through his own laughter. “You caught on _fire_?”

“For a brief second!” Dipper tried, but Trevor was back to laughing. “The guy breathed fire through his _nose_ at me!” Dipper held his face in his hands as Trevor slammed his fist on the table through tears. “Anyway, so I put out the fire and set out. The climb up was treacherous- I had to run through a forest, barefoot; drink from a river with a deer; climb up a mountain, and, finally, I made it. The cave of the--”

“You boys doing okay?” Susan asked as she came up to their table, drying her hands on a wash cloth. Trevor and Dipper exchanged a look (as best they could, with Trevor trying to calm himself down) before he nodded and reached into his pocket.

“Yeah, I think we’re done, actually,” he hummed, opening his wallet to pay when Trevor reached across and placed his hand on it, making Dipper look up in confusion. Any humor from his eyes had left, and Dipper raised a brow as Trevor held up some money.

“Let me. You came out to hang with me- a practical stranger- and told me an amazing story. I think that’s more than enough payment.”

Dipper flushed as he looked at his wallet and sighed. “If you insist, Trevor. Thank you.”

The other boy grinned as they both stood, Trevor leading them out. “So? Go on. Disco Girl, right?”

“Right, so I was just about to kill him when--” Dipper paused, looking at Trevor in surprise. He swore he left off when he was just entering the cave, not already having confronted the bear. He shrugged it off, though, and continued the story: “--he mentioned that, before he died, he wanted to listen to his favorite song. So I walked over, pressed play on his tape player, and out blasted ‘Disco Girl’!” He paused to laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was shocked somebody as awesome as a bear with multiple heads liked the song, too. After that, I told the Manotaurs off and went back to living with my family in the Mystery Shack.”

Trevor chuckled, shaking his head slightly, and Dipper watched as he kicked a rock towards a bush, making it rustle. “That’s crazy. Do you remember where the cave is? I wanna meet this Multi-Bear.”

Dipper chuckled and shook his head. “I could probably point it out, but it’s unlikely. It’s pretty high up in the mountains.”

“And yet you managed to get there in just a loincloth.”

“Oof,” Dipper huffed, rubbing his hand across his face. “Don’t remind me. That was _not_ fun.”

“Sounded like it was,” Trevor joked, nudging the twin Pine, earning a light-hearted chuckle and a soft nudge back. “So do you have any other stories you wanna tell me about that summer? You had definitely more fun in this town when you were _twelve_ than I’ve had- and I’m seventeen!”

Dipper shrugged and pat Trevor’s back in what he hoped was comforting. “I come from… a very adventurous family.”

Trevor flashed a sharp grin. “Hey, me too, but we’re more… closet adventurers.”

He raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

The red-clad boy shrugged, stretching his arms in his hoodie pocket and yawning so hard his jaw creaked. “Nothing, nothing. Anyway, you don’t have any more interesting ones?”

“Well, I guess there was that one time…”

~~~~~~~~

Ford double- and even triple-checked the barrier, making sure everything was still intact, before he settled down in the kitchen with his notebook. He hadn’t meant to be talking to Bill for so long, and was lucky to be back before Dipper was. Being the hermit he usually is, the boy would no doubt wonder where Ford had wandered off to and maybe even set out to find the old man.

Still, talking with the demon of his past for so long sure answered a surprisingly large amount of questions. Like the fact that Bill and Dipper were soulmates. 

Not only did this mean that Bill was capable of love (what a thought…), but also had a soul to share a mate _with_. Which made him twice as human, which made all the terrible things he’s done in the past seem 10-times _worse_. He was just a terrible creature; and he also happened to be bonded with Ford’s grandnephew! Ford swore he would always protect him, but he can’t necessarily save him from the hand Fate dealt him.

Even if Fate was the form of three horrific celestial beings who wanted nothing more but to toy with every one of their creations.

Ford could only hope that Bill was just another player in the game, and that his turn would be short.

“Dangit, Ford, if you’re going to build a barrier, at least put up a sign or something!”

Ford looked up from his notebook as Stanley stormed in, face scuffed and suit covered with dirt that he attempted to pat off with a glare. Ford felt dread building like a tidal wave in the pit of his stomach, and he swallowed thickly, already to his feet. “What?”

“You’re going to have to go pick up the groceries I spilt everywhere because of your stupid pile of rocks.”

“Stanley,” Ford began, stepping up quickly to his twin and grabbing him by the shoulders. His tone must’ve portrayed just how panicked Ford already was, if the confusion that replaced the anger on Stan’s face said anything, “ _what_ pile of rocks.”

“T-The pile!... In the yard?”

But Ford had already moved, trying not to run out and immediately check the barrier he’d built to protect the house, when the knob turned. They both stepped back as the door was slowly pushed open, and Ford’s blood ran cold.

“Hey, uh, I think you dropped these.”

Holding the dropped groceries, Bill Cipher stood in the doorway of the Mystery Shack, and when he saw the sickly sweet smile on his fleshy face, Ford knew Bill was going to be more than just a side character in this twisted story of life.


End file.
